Arise
by PlasticStarz
Summary: Alexandra Johansson joined the Survey Corps after her older brother died for the great cause that is Humanity. Not only is she faced with obstacles such as death by the hands of vicious titans, but she finds that her heart will have to face obstacles that prove to be even more frightening. [ErwinxOCxLevi]
1. Arise

**Chapter 1: Arise**

**Author's Note:Yo! So I've had this in mind for awhile. I'm really motivated to do it and hopefully finish it. My grammar leaves much to be desired so ya. This is a love triangle! Criticism is appreciated. **

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><p><em>Year 845<em>

_'I'm scared. I'm really scared. I…I don't want to die.'_

Those were her thoughts as many of her fellow trainees, friends walked past her. Commander of the Survey Corps Keith Shadis, had just finished speaking and basically the choice was given. Join the Survey Corps, fight and die for humanity or leave and live. Alexandra was overwhelmed by exactly how many of the recruits had quickly turned away with little to no hesitation. It took every ounce of will power not turn away herself, it felt almost painful to do so. Though just when she lost all her nerve, and was about turn on her heel a familiar voice from her memory made her stay put.

'_I fight because this world is worth fighting for. I fight because I do want to live.'_

With those words embedded in her head and her heart, her feet planted themselves back to the ground with the other handful of soldiers who decided to stay as well. The commander saluted the remaining recruits which they all but respectfully returned. "FOR HUMANITY!" Then she cried silently.

She knew why she was here, she knew why she went through those three years of mind and body numbing training, and more importantly she knew she would join the Survey Corps. She made this decision when the Commander himself paid a visit to her home to inform her and her mother that her older brother, Daniel died in battle. The news had devastated both women. Daniel had been her idol, a dearest brother and replacement father figure. He had joined the Survey Corps in order to follow their father's footsteps. Their mother of course disapproved of her only son putting his life in constant danger, but Daniel would not budge in the decision nor ever voice regretting it. It was a relief to see him every time he came back from expedition. Though the look in his eyes had changed drastically. It was from seeing the horrors that the titans could do, but he still managed to smile and be optimistic with hope they would take the world back.

"How can you smile?" she once asked.

"Because I still have hope. Besides, if I don't I might break." He smiled at her patting her head lightly. "So do me a favor huh sis? Smile. Smile because you're alive today to enjoy something as precious as living." Every principal of life Alexandra had today was based off the teachings of her brother. Life was worth living and worth fighting for. So she would smile despite that she could very well die at any given moment.

"What the fuck are you smiling about?" came a gruff voice from next her. Emerald eyes met steely grey. This man had a small built with raven black hair, and he wore a deadpan expression on his face. From what she had heard he joined the scouts a year or so ago and was already getting quite the reputation for titan killing. 'What did they call him the other day…? Humanity's-'

"Problem Cadet?" The tone in his voice was obviously irritated for not only had he not gotten a response from her, but now she was staring stupidly at him. Flustered, she could only smile wider at him.

"Oh! I apologize, sir! I was just thinking how lovely the weather is today!" She rubbed the back of her head out of embarrassment. "It's hard to appreciate things like that behind the walls! It's very nice!"

Her answer just served to annoy him even more, and he rudely clicked his tongue at her.

"Tch. Idiot. Keep your eyes ahead of you and stay alert. Unless you wanna get killed for gawking at the _weather_." She managed squeak out a 'yes sir' before he rode ahead of her in attempt to distance himself from her stupidity. Her smile faltered just a tad and she gripped the reins of her horse tighter. She had barely joined a week ago and now she was on her first expedition…and possibly already her last. When the gates opened up for them moments ago, she was in complete awe. The sun shined so brightly down on her and the land seemed so big and green with endless distance. The air smelled differently too. It was not muddled with different aromas; it was simply just clean and fresh. Seeing it all at once was so overwhelming that she could not help but smile. In that moment she was able once again to understand why her brother gave his life.

"Don't mind Levi! Shorty's just mad cause he's not gonna be able to take a tea break today~!" Once again, Alex turned her head to meet another voice coming from her right. A woman with brown hair and glasses grinned cheerfully at her. The friendly grin was returned with a pleasant smile.

"No, he's right. I should pay attention to my surroundings. Can't really be getting distracted at a time like this." She said, straitening up her position as a show of a respect to the woman. The woman continued to grin at her and galloped a little closer so she rode right next to Alex.

"You're new right? I'm Hanji Zoe!"

"Cadet Alexandra Johansson, ma'am! I am happy to meet you!" Her formality made Hanji laugh; she reached out and gave Alex a rather powerful pat on the shoulder, which nearly made her fall off her horse.

"Ohhh youuuu! No need to be so formal! You any good with that?" She asked, motioning to your vertical maneuvering gear. Sparing it a quick glance Alex shrugged sheepishly.

"It took a couple of falls, but I managed to get the hang of it." Again she looked at the gear this time focusing on her weapons. "As for the blades I have the technique down, but I would be more efficient with a gun."

The other women leaned in, her curiosity peeked. "Really? Why is that? You don't seem the type to go around shooting guns."

"I-I don't go around shooting things or a-anything like that! It's just…my brother taught me. He said it was important that I learn how to protect myself." She looked up towards the sky thinking back on her childhood. "But when we started I was too small to hold a sword properly so he started me off with a pistol." She giggled at the memory of her small chubby self struggling to lift her brother's sword. Hanji smiled at the new recruit, and then realization seemed to wash over her features.

"So your brother was good with guns too, right? And didn't you say your last name was Johansson?" Upon realizing exactly what she was discovering on her own, Alex turned white and her cheery mood began to deteriorate. She could not talk about her brother's death at this moment. Though it had been a good three years since his death it was not really ideal to bring up while they were on expedition, in one of which he was killed.

Eaten.

Hanij opened her mouth to finally ask the dreaded question of her brother's identity, her eyes were sad. "Are you by any chance-?"

"Zoe! Get to your unit; we are going to start the formation."

Both women looked over to see a man with neat blonde hair swept to the side, and he had the most piercing blue eyes. He had a stern look to him though it looked rather well on his handsome face. Strong eyebrows, strong chin and polished head to toe.

"Yes sir Squad Leader Smith!" Hanji replied smiling over at Alex first. "We'll talk later okay?" Then she rode off to where ever her unit was going to be stationed, and the cadet let out a breath of relief. She found herself now looking at this Smith person, and to her surprise he was staring right back at her. Though he wore a frown on his face it was in no way unfriendly. She offered a smile in the hopes he would look away, but his cold eyes remained locked with her bright green. Alex felt she began to lose this little game, and her face become hot with shyness. Only when a blush appeared on her face he decided to look away and he and his horse went to the very front.

It did not take long for the horror of this expedition to start.

The clouds became dark and the warm sun had all but disappeared into them as it if did not want to see the bloodshed that was happening. The first titan had jumped out unexpectedly and it had been an aberrant, eyes bulging and mouth dripping with saliva. It had killed three of their own before finally begin taken out, though like a Hydra more soon came. Then came the rain and there were voices all around. A shout of plan of attack, battle cries, and then there were just cries for help. As for Alex, she had been frozen in place when the first titan had appeared and only reacted when the first man was killed. Her squad leader had given her orders to cut an Achilles heel of oncoming titan, she had help of course with the task but even then it was terrifying experience to be that close to one. Though a couple of titans were killed humanity was still losing this current battle once again. There were too many and the ground was far too flat for any gear to be of any use.

"RETREAT!"

"FALLBACK!"

Once the order was given the troops on the ground immediately got their horses to bolt while the few brave took out a titan they were currently battling. Though when Alex made her way to join the rest of the retreating troops a familiar voice caught her attention and her eyes widen with horror.

"HELPPP! SOMEONE PLEASE!"

A young man was in the grip of 8 meter class titan. She knew him. Richard Nicholson, another new cadet that had joined that was with in their training days. They would share meals and conversations, and he would also tell jokes that would liven up the spirits of the other trainees. The look on his face was one she never seen him have before; pure terror.

"HELP ME!"

His cries halted her and after a brief hesitation she made her horse turn and head straight for the titan. Adrenaline pumped through her entire body as she came around the titan and used the 3D maneuvering gear to latch onto it's back to her target; the nape. Her swords were drawn and just as she leapt up to make a deep slice the titan suddenly moved causing her to stumble, her back hitting the shoulder blade of the monster. It was then she noticed that Richard's screams had all but stopped. She was filled with dread knowing she had been too late to help her comrade. She could not even properly grieve because a large hand came around and tightly seized her form. The hand brought her face to face with the monster whose mouth was stained with the blood of her comrade. She could not scream and tears flowed from her eyes knowing that this was her end; it was going to be painfully gruesome. The creature paid no mind to her tears and opened its mouth wide to which Alex shut her eyes tightly. She waited for the painful bite of its jaws but it suddenly made a disgusting gurgling sound. The sound made the young girl open her eyes and she found hot blood spraying from the back of its neck. Its grip became loose over her then she found herself falling. A figure came flying out from behind the titan just in time to catch her around the waist, using the titan's flaying form as means to get closer to ground before reaching hard impact. When the two landed safely on the ground the young cadet looked up to see her savior.

Squad Leader Smith.

His face was still stern, but his eyes were grim as he gazed down upon her shivering form. "Get to your horse. Hurry!" She all but obliged the order and found that she had great difficulty getting on her horse due to an immense pain in her side. The remaining squad galloped away as the titans charged towards them arms out stretched to grab another meal, but the horses speed beat their legs. When the titans were no longer in sight the troops stopped to tend to the major injuries that some had suffered, and also to calculate the many casualties. The rain had finally stopped, and Alex noticed that the air was no longer fresh and clean, but it now was mixed with blood. She was seated on a log a little ways from the rest of the squad. Her body was still trembling and all she could see Richard's terrified face and his screams for help. He had been eaten, a fate that many of the Survey Corps had been dealt including her beloved brother. A thought struck her suddenly and her heart twisted.

'_Is…that what it was like for you, Daniel? Did you scream and cry for help too? And no one could save you..?'_

Just when the tears began to fall a tall shadow loomed over her and a deep, but soothing voice that belong to squad leader Erwin Smith broke her from her distressing thoughts.

"Cadet Johansson?"

Alex immediately looked up at him, before bringing herself to her feet and ignoring the pain in her side that protested to stay put. She heart saluted him out of respect and gratitude. "Sir! Thank you for saving my life!"

He stared at her a moment before reaching out and placing a hand on her shoulder, slowly seating her back down. "You're injured." He stated, before taking a seat next to her on the log. Suddenly feeling shy she placed her hands on her knees and looked down at her boots.

"Well it had a very tight grip." She said and winced when he reached out and touched her side before retracting it back upon her reaction.

"Could be a broken rib or two." Was his only analysis, then there was nothing but silence between them. She looked at him and waited for him to say anything else, but he didn't just simply looked ahead at the scenery before them.

It was uncomfortable for Alex so she broke the silence. "I really am grateful to you for saving my life sir. I could have been-" He cut her off.

"You wanted to save your comrade even though you knew you had little to no chance." It was a fact. Alex knew the moment she saw Richard in the grip of that titan and the distance that was between them…there was just no time.

"So why did you did you try?" He asked, still not looking at her.

"Why?" she repeated to herself. She stared at him then turned her attention downwards. Her light brown bangs covered eyes. "He was my comrade and I just hoped…I hoped…"

"Hoped for what?"

She smiled grimly. "That's just it sir. I just hoped for anything. Hoped for something. It was what I held onto."

"You're just like your brother." Her eyes widen at that, and she could not help but feel that mixture of sadness and happiness. "I had the pleasure of fighting alongside him…." He finally tore his eyes away from land the look at her before he continued. "He was a fine solider. Always spoke of morals of life and hope. When he died we lost the strength that humanity desperately needed."

He pushed himself up and stood in front of her, towering over her and his eyes bored into her soul reaching out to pull her from the despair she was in.

"Seeing you today in that act of bravery has confirmed it. Your brother is gone, but with you here I have reason to hope again." The sun began to peak out from behind him, and the wind blew causing his green hood to flutter like wings. Her hair blew in the wind too along with the smell of blood that tainted the air only moments ago. They stared at each other for the longest time neither wanting to disconnect from the other. Tears had nearly come when he finally said.

"Humanity needs **your** strength."

They were back inside the walls of Maria with the citizens crowding around them with eyes of disappoint that they had accomplished nothing except more loss of human life. It made her feel ashamed. Commander Shadis himself had a break down in front a mother of one of the fallen soldiers. It was just depressing and she could not find the courage to look up at their faces.

"Look Mikasa! The heroes are back!"

Her head whirled around to the right of that loud voice to see a boy with bright green eyes smiling widely at the troops, the girl next to him merely stared in awe. His eyes were so wide and they were filled with admiration and…hope. It was so familiar…

"_Look Alex! The troops are back!" Cheered a twelve year Daniel lifting up his four year baby sister so she could see better. She stared at the soldiers then at her brother who was smiling so wide that it made her smile too. "They fight for us! I'm going to join one day ya know." He told her. "I'll fight for you and mom! I'll fight so we can live!"_

When the memory passed she noticed the boy's smile had disappeared. No doubt he noticed the gloomy state of the troops.

'_Smile.'_

It was difficult, but Alex managed to smile and wave at the green eyed boy. The boy's eyes widen at her acknowledgement and more so at her hopeful smile. He smiled back and waved animatedly at her. When the boy was out of sight she looked up ahead to see Erwin Smith who rode in the front of the soldiers with the commander. Her thoughts went back on his rescue to his kind words that made her realize she made the right choice in joining the Survey Corps. She stared at the back of his head and made a silent vow that she would not let him down. She wanted to fight alongside a man like that. Help him reach goals that he wanted to accomplish. These thoughts were only encouraged more when he paid a visit to her in the infirmary. Just like he said, two broken ribs. She was flustered by his visitation her face scarlet red when he said he wished for a speedy recovery. It all felt silly. But she was smiling though she was soon reminded of horror when Wall Maria was breached by titans. She laid there in bed knowing that squad leader Smith was on his way to battle and she could not be there with him.

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><p><strong>What did you think? Was it bad?<strong>

**Seemed pretty long, right? Probably won't do too many long chapters O.o**

**The title of the story and chapter it inspired by the song 'Arise' by Flyleaf! It was such an AOT FEEL!**

**Anyway PEACE&LOVE**


	2. Moments

Chapter 2: Moments

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><p>The year after Wall Maria had been breached by the colossal and armored titan, several things had happened. The survivors were forced to evacuate and take refuge behind Wall Rose, which led to a food shortage, then more casualties in the attempt to retake Wall Maria. If there was any kind of bright side it was that Alex had managed to make it back from expeditions. Difficult, but she would take lessons from her brother's book and find the will to keep hope. Her survival of course had also been with the help of her faithful comrades, and she was able to improve her own skills as well. Though they were still in no way at expert level, but capable enough to live another day. On another bright note, Erwin Smith recently had been promoted to Commander of the Survey Corps.<p>

"Congratulations Commander Smith!" Alexandra smiled brightly giving a heart salute to the authoritative figure in front of her. He gave her a simple nod of thanks. She was enamored by his intense blue gaze that she failed to notice another set of eyes glaring at her cheerfulness. "Oh! A-and c-congratulations to you too Lance Corporal!"

That's right there had been another promotion that year, Levi was now Lance Corporal. It came as no surprise since he was Humanity Strongest Solider. Though his skills were beyond incredible and he had the qualities of a leader she was not so sure how she felt about his new title…being that he was extremely crude and not really what one would call a team player.

"Tch." Was his response to her and he turned his heel to leave the two alone, but not before saying something along the lines of 'ass kissing'. The insult left her red in the face from embarrassment.

"Pay no mind to the Corporal." Erwin said glaring after Levi's retreating form, unimpressed by his rudeness. Alex clasped her hands together, shy.

"I h-hope I didn't interrupt anything." She said taking a glance in the direction Levi left. Perhaps, she was the rude one in this case?

"Not at all. Our discussion was done." And he left it at that. She briefly wondered if she was not trustworthy enough or important to know whatever the topic was about. The thought left her somewhat sad.

"Well, Cadet Johansson, I best be on my way. My new duties have proven to be quite time consuming. As you were." With a nod he swiftly turned around to take his leave.

Alex on the other had an agenda of her own, one that she had wanted to tell him since last year.

"Sir!"

"Yes Cadet?" Came his curious reply, halting his steps and turning his head slightly to look at her.

"I..uh..I…" the young cadet began to fidget shifting one weight on one foot to another. She could hardly bring herself to even look him respectfully in the eye. Her nervousness did not go unnoticed, and the Commander fully turned around to face her. Arms were neatly behind his back, ever the patient man.

"I…" Taking a deep breath she continued. "I would like to offer my assistance to you, Sir!" When he said nothing she continued. "I never really repaid my debt to you. You saved my life, and now I would like to offer it to you." She picked her head up to look at him, determined. "I'll give you my life, Commander! I promise to serve you well!"

Again she was met with silence and she found herself in a face off with the blonde gentleman. His silence left her in turmoil, her stomach doing flips and her palms sweaty. Finally he spoke.

"Come with me Cadet."

He had taken her to his office. And to her utter shock the Commander's office was…unkempt. Extremely unkempt with files stacked on to his desk to the point where she could not even see the top of the desk itself. All his file drawers were opened and disorganized with papers jammed mercilessly. Even the floor had loose papers scattered around.

'_Ahh! The Commander's a slob?!'_

The Commander most likely took notice to her comically stunned expression and he cleared his throat.

"I'm afraid I've been rather busy and have neglected my office. There has been much to go over and I have not had the time to…organize." It was said with a straight face, but the fact that he felt the need to explain his untidiness was a bit humorous.

'_Is…is he embarrassed?'_

"Oh um! I understand sir! You do have a lot to deal with now!"

'_But still this is really messy!'_

"I have a meeting with Commander Pixis that I must attend." He turned to face her directly. "I trust that I can depend on you to file everything correctly and neatly. No doubt I will return with more paperwork, and when I do I would like a clutter free environment."

Alex quickly gave her best heart salute, smiling widely. "Yes sir! I'll have it clean in no time!" She was happy. It was not a matter of her playing maid; it was more of his acceptance of her. She offered her assistance and he gave her a task which required him to trust her. These documents that were scattered around held important information, and he was more than willingly to let her go through and organize them accordingly. He gave her a nod of thanks before leaving her to get to work.

It proved to be a challenge, but the young cadet was determined to please the Commander. First she picked up all the papers on the floor, got the files off on his desk, and then took out the crammed files in his drawers before **neatly** putting them back and alphabetically at that. It had taken quite a while for this to be accomplished since she actually had to look over many of the scattered documents so she could determine where they belonged. She would not abuse this privilege. When two hours passed by doing nothing but paperwork, and also basic tidying up of his quarters in general, Alex felt pleased with herself. The office looked as presentable as the Commander himself! Proud, leaned on the Commander's desk to get a better view of the clean office and then heard it.

_Cling_

"Ehh?" Alex turned around to where the sound had come from, and her eyes widen with horror. Ink. Black ink was running over the newly polished wooden surface. It took her a moment to register what exactly was happening, but it hit her hard.

"Gahhhhhh!" She squealed picking up the bottle of ink to stop the rest of its flow. Unfortunately it did not help being that it was nearly empty. "Nononono! What do I do?! Need a towel!"

She dashed through Recon HQ ignoring the curious looks of her comrades. She returned with several towels, and a couple of cleaning necessities she hoped would remove the offending blackness. Needless to say it did little good. Her furious scrubbing only had made the ink spot to become even larger. Without thinking she grabbed the closest bottle and sprayed the contents of it on the ugly spot. Once again it was futile, the black that was affected turned a different shade now…purple? She all but froze when the door swung open to reveal her Commander with a brand new file in hand.

…

"COMMANDER! Ummmm welcome back! Umm I..!" She dropped the towel staring at him watching closely for his reaction. He did not react right away which only frightened her more. He just stood there eyes on her disheveled appearance. She had some ink on her face, the tips of her hair, and on her uniform. He looked to her then at his desk, then back to her.

…

She wanted to cry, but even her tears were too frightened to appear. Then something quite unexpected happen. He laughed. A small chuckle was released at first before the room was filled with a deep laughter. Alex just stared at him eyes wide in confusion and shock as he continued with his tall figure was hunched over from this fit. When he finally looked up she did not see the stern frown that he always wore, but he was smiling. A true smile. It was bizarre and almost unnatural on his features. Yet, in that moment Alex could not help but think that he looked even more handsome this way. She felt happy to see him have this warm expression. Even though the circumstances were not really something to laugh about.

"..Sir?" She said slowly, hoping that he just didn't snap from pressure.

His laughter slowly died down and the light chuckles came. "Forgive me Cadet. I just was not expecting this."

"I know Sir and I'm really, really sorry! I will- "He held up a hand to stop her from her explanation. There was a soft, small smile on his face as he walked further into his office.

"It's alright Cadet. I can simply get a new desk." He said placing his new file on the chair in front of his now ruined desk. "In any case I see you have succeeded in organizing my office."

"Um yes sir! All are files alphabetized and put into the appropriate drawers as requested!" She was still trying to process the fact he was smiling, when he placed a hand on your shoulder.

"I really must thank you." He said eyes soft and, she noticed also tired. "I was more than prepared to take on my role as Commander. It has been demanding, and the stress unbelievable."

She stared at him in wonderment as he opened up to her. Her face began to heat up from the hand he had on shoulder, and the heat from it left when he chose that moment to remove it.

"I've been fighting the titans for so long; I thought I had completely forgotten how to laugh…"

Alexandra still said nothing, she was afraid if she did she would ruin this moment they were sharing.

"Well you're dismissed. Be sure to be back here early tomorrow 900 hours, sharp."

Finally she blinked at him. "900 hours?", she asked and he nodded in confirmation.

"Yes, we have much to do tomorrow. Errands and such. Best to get an early start."

It dawned on her what he was implying. She was going to be working with him…from now on. When she left his office she had the biggest smile on her face, even as her friends questioned her about her messy appearance she could only laugh and tell them it was too long of a story. One she wanted to keep to herself. Even as she laid down on her cot anxiously anticipating tomorrow, she thought back on Erwin laughter, and that genuine smile.

'_I wonder…if it's possible if we'll share more moments like that…'_

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><p><strong><em>I admit it was a shorter chapter! And it was fluff more than anything, but I want to get the character relationships established. That and the last chapter was so depressing. Hope ya like it! A Levi chapter is next...just saying!<br>Andddd I would like to point out that Alex IS in love with Erwin right now, but don't worry Levi fans! Levi is going to get his spotlight. Be patient. _**


	3. Cleanse

Chapter 3: Cleanse

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><p>Another year had passed since Alexandra had taken on the title of the Commander's assistance. Despite the incidents where she tended to be a klutz (the desk incident and another where she had tripped while carrying tea into his office), it was a role she took on with pride and serious dedication. Her daily task consisted of picking up, delivering and filing paperwork, running important messages to him and so on. She was grateful for it all. Every day she was to be by the Commander's side, assisting him with whatever he needed. That and of course it was the moments he would speak about his inner most thoughts and concerns to her is where she felt the most rewarded. There were even times he would share stories about her brother and how she shared his morals exactly.<p>

However, it was the end of another expedition. The causalities were not as high, but Alex had to witness the death of three good friends and a fresh new recruit. Thinking of the new recruit had caused tears to suddenly spurt out. It was a fifteen year old girl who was scared out of her wits. Alex had greeted her with a kind smile and reassured her that she would be okay. It was not her intention to lie, she was only hoping for the best.

When the gates to the walls lifted the Lance Corporal caught her quiet sobbing.

"Oi. That's enough of that Johansson. You bawling isn't going to help any." He said, his face was grim by the recent losses of their people, but like a good solider it's the only sign he gave.

Alex quickly straightened up and forced a smile, though the tears were still visible.

"Yes Corporal! I will stop immediately!" she exclaimed and went to wipe the tears off her cheeks. More salty tears just came down like a water fountain. "Ahh! I'm sorry sir! Just give me one moment and I'll stop!"

He clicked his tongue at her sobs and his hand reached out suddenly towards her causing her to automatically flinch. She was surprised when he merely albeit roughly brought her green hood down to cover her tear stained face.

"You're a hopeless brat you know that?" he spat looking ahead where the eyes and voices of civilians wait. "You're a solider, so why don't you do yourself a favor and start acting like one already."

Alexandra could only stare blankly at him. If he had said this at any other time she would have most certainly took it as an insult. However, she was almost certain it was the Corporal's way of being…kind? Ish. This morning for example, she had run into Levi at the stables as he was readying his noble black horse. Alex, wanting to be polite had cheerfully announced a good morning and bid the Corporal good luck on today's expedition. He in turn replied with an annoyed scowl before ignoring her altogether. Though just now she had seen a different side of him.

"Thank you, sir." She said softly, tears still appeared at the corner of her eyes, but now she had a small smile. It was to show him gratitude. He said nothing this time and kept his eyes forward as they galloped back into town hearing the disappointing voices around them.

Unfortunately, that was only time Alex experienced kindness from the Lance Corporal. Back at HQ whenever they crossed paths or were simply forced to interact with one another, she was met with vulgar language and sharp insults. Though to be fair it was not because he had a certain dislike towards _her_ he was simply like that with everyone. His hostility kept the other cadets, and herself away. She did her best to be patient with her superior, smiling nervously and apologizing. Though it was difficult not just too simply hide whenever she saw him storming down the halls. The only people who could actually hold a conversation with him was Hanji and her Commander. But after experiencing that small ounce of kindness Alex wondered if maybe they could possibly become friends.

"Yeah. He's always been like that." Mike Zacharius said as they both waited patiently for Erwin who was currently in yet another meeting. Mike was someone Alex greatly admired. During expeditions he was able to watch over Erwin during battle when she could not. Something she would be eternally grateful to him for. When she became the Commander's assistant Mike had briefly sniffed, before voicing his approval.

"I figured as much. I just…" she looked down at her boots thinking about Levi's grim features. "I just feel he goes the extra mile to be unpleasant so people won't get close to him. But why?"

Scratching his head, Mike merely shrugged. "Well it could be that a stick has just permanently logged itself in his ass…"

"Mr. Zacharius! That's rude! You sounded like the Corporal just now!"

"My apologies, Alex." He said chuckling lightly before looking towards the door the Commander was behind. "Levi was just a skilled thug before he came to fight for Humanity now. That's been his choice since he decided not to go through with killing the Commander-"

"WAHHHH! He tried to kill the Commander?!" she screeched, an image of the Corporal with red eyes and horns about to pounce on an angelic Erwin suddenly flashed through her head.

"Heyy! Shhh! Keep your voice down!" They both looked towards the door sweat beading down their heads when it slowly opened to reveal their Commander who appeared unamused.

"I thought it would be prudent to tell you both that these doors are not sound proof."

Back in the Commander's office she was pouring him tea when he inquired about her conversation with Mike. "Ohhh! Mr. Zacharius and I were just…discussing the Corporal's history."

He took a sip of his tea before carefully setting it down on his desk, staring at the cup thoughtfully. "I see. You are of course, referring to his days as a criminal?"

She nodded, her mind replaying the words Mike had said earlier of Levi's intentions to kill Erwin. The Commander turned his gaze on her, blue eyes searching her green ones for answers.

"Levi hasn't done anything to invoke this curiosity in his troubling background, has he?" he asked, his voice careful and stern, waiting for her reaction. Quickly Alex pushed any thoughts he might have been having out of his mind.

"Oh uh! Nononono! Of course not!" She brought her hands up in front of her, waving them frantically. "I just wanted to know why he's so unpleasant with people!"

Relief washed over the Commander's face. Erwin held Levi in high regard after all as he was an important to the future of humanity. "Hmm…well I'm afraid he's always been like that." He said simply taking another sip of tea.

Alex sighed with dissatisfaction at this answer. The same one Mike had offered as well.

"That's a shame. It must be terribly lonely." She said more to herself. The Commander mulled over her words as he finished his tea. It was obvious that the cadet was hoping to reach out to the abrasive fellow that was Levi. She appeared to be just as kind as her brother was long ago.

"Yes. I imagine he prefers it that way since the loss of his companions when he first came to the Survey Corps."

"His companions?" she asked, leaning forward eagerly to listen. He nodded eyes hooded over as looked back on the memory.

"A young girl named Isabelle and a young man; Farlan. They followed him dutifully and from what I noticed upon meeting him, they were all that he cared for." A heavy sigh escaped him. "I recognized their skills and forced them to join…though at the time I had another reason to keep them under watch." Erwin looked over to the young cadet who just listened patiently, and her serious features almost made him smile. Though the memory of the past was far too grim. "Anyway, they needed me out of the way with the leverage I had over them. When Levi came to pursue me, his friends met a gruesome fate by the titans."

It made sense, she thought. Of course the loss of close friends would drive someone to push others away. Everyone grieved differently after all. A thought struck her then.

She could not imagine Levi shedding a tear, and that itself was a problem. But that was so long ago surely he had at least once…

"Cadet Johansson?" Erwin's voice brought her back and she quickly stood up embarrassed she had spaced out in front of him like that.

"Oh I'm sorry Commander! I was listening! Would you like some more tea?" She asked smiling brightly, but Erwin with a gift for reading people was able to see that she was filled with remorse for the Corporal's loss.

"No thank you, Cadet. You're dismissed."

"Eh? But sir, I haven't finished with the-"he stopped with a simple shake of his head.

"No need to worry. You'll finish tomorrow. Please get some rest."

She the bid the Commander a goodnight and blushed like a fool when he wished her the same. As Alex lay on her bed her last thoughts before she drifted into sleep was the Corporal and his grim expression.

The next day at breakfast Alex noticed that everyone seemed…miserable. Not the kind of miserable before expeditions, but one that could be said was almost equal. When she asked a fellow comrade (who's head was glued to the table in misery) about the gloomy atmosphere, he only told her to go look on the message board located near the entrance of the breakfast hall.

'…_.Oh…'_

That explained the sour mood everyone was in. Lance Corporal Levi had posted up a memo of today's agenda for everyone. The Recon HQ was due for a serious clean up. Alex herself gave a very heavy sigh once she realized what was in store for her and her comrades. Even though she was the Commander's assistant he would not be able to save her from this. It was no secret that Levi was a clean freak. One that boarded over obsessive. If he happened to walk past a stain of any kind he would integrate the nearest solider on why the stain was not being taken care of, before going down the list of what would be needed to remove said stain. So everyone slowly, very slowly ate breakfast before getting to work knowing full well they would not be able to please the Corporal. Dorms, restrooms, the stables, offices, kitchen, 3D gear and even uniforms were all to be inspected by the Corporal himself. The pressure was most certainly on. Alex had gotten the short end of stick and gotten the storage unit. No one liked the storage unit because no matter how many times it was dusted and organized it somehow found a way to become a serious mess. It would take practically the whole day to clean, and if Levi knows someone was working on just one room he would expect nothing, but excellence….which he would never get. Just as she was finished Levi surprised her with a sudden visit, glaring at her as she proceeded to stand up and salute him.

"Sir! I only need a moment to-"

"I do hope you're not going to tell me you're finished." He said, the make-shift mask no doubt hiding a disgusted grimace. "Because if that's the case, I don't mind telling you that you're fucking delusional."

She gulped and her smile was tight. "Oh um! Of course not sir! Still hard at work!" She nervously and quickly sprayed disinfectant over an already sparkling clean surface.

When he came back for the second time he dragged his finger along the window seal, she stood ridged as he glared at her and wiped his hands with a cleaning rag. "Poor. Do it over."

She ended up missing dinner that evening. She was determined to satisfy Levi's clean nature. All the dust was gone, boxes organized, the window glass was clear of any muck. If anything was dirty in the room it was certainly her. A whole days' worth of serious cleanliness was apparent, and it left her exhausted. When he came back for the final time he still donned the head-handkerchief and makeshift mask. He first looked to her; she was giving him a respectful heart salute, before taking a look around the room. His eyes squinted trying to find at least one speck of dust, and when he did not he pulled his mask down. No surprise he was still frowning and he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Why the hell are the boxes stacked like that?"

'_AHHHH!' _

"You expect anyone to get anything with shit like that? They'll topple over and then I'll have to put your ass back here to clear it out…though maybe it would obviously be best _not _to leave that kind of task to _you_." It seemed he was not willing to acknowledge the work she had accomplished, and she held back a groan due to her polite nature. A nature she blamed her brother for.

"I-I apologize sir! I'll fix it right away!" She quickly ran over to the tower of boxes, tippy toeing and arms outstretched to grab the one at the very top. Another pair of arms came from behind her to take the box instead. When she spun around she found herself slightly looking up into glaring grey eyes. He placed the box in another spot he thought fit before standing up straight again. He was rather short, but then he was still taller than her by a few centimeters and it forced her to tilt head up to look at him directly.

"It will be faster if I give you hand…seeing as it took you an entire day just to do one damn room." He said simply before grabbing another box. His assistance left Alex dumbfounded, but she smiled after the moment passed.

"I really appreciate it, sir!"

"Tch." Was his reply.

As they restacked the boxes to Levi's liking, the silence became uncomfortable. For Alex at least, so she decided to make idle conversation.

"Sooo, we'll be having another expedition soon." She said her words felt clumsily.

"Yeah. What of it?"

"Oh! Ww-ell I was just saying…" Her eyes adverted downward to a box in her hands, embarrassed at her failure to converse with him. His next harsh words would catch her by surprise.

"Are you going act dignified this time? Nobody's got time for a crybaby." The coldness in his voice made her flinch and she furrowed her brows together in disapproval.

"I…really don't think it's a bad thing to mourn for our comrades." Her reply must have been a sign of defiance and Levi glared harshly at her, but she continued. "I know I'm a solider and I'm fighting for the right to live in this world. Our comrades…our friends have the same goals." Gently she placed another box down. "Everyone here has become a part of me. They're precious to me." At that moment she thought of Erwin. "It hurts to lose them the way we do." Her brother's smiling face came to mind now.

"_Souls need to be cleansed. So when we cry when something terrible happens, our soul becomes cleansed. We feel better afterwards." _

Finding courage she looked in Levi direction to better get the message across. "It's important for our souls to cleanse."

The Lance Corporal said nothing to her little speech and he just stood there. It seemed like an eternity when he spoke, and sadly it was not a response she hoped for.

"You're dismissed Cadet." His voice was steady and even, but it did not hold any irritation. "I'll finish here if all you're going to do is flap your mouth." Again she noticed the lack of malice. This alone gave her the push she needed to ask a question he probably avoided for a long time.

"You've lost people precious to you haven't you, Corporal?"

Dead Silence.

Levi stood straight up, back to her arms at his side. She saw his shoulders rise and then fall, but that all the movement he gave. Then suddenly he spun around and marched toward her. It surprised her and out of instinct she took several steps back before her back hit the wall. There was no where she could run as he left little distance between them, steely grey eyes piercing her.

"What is it you're trying to do?" He asked in a low whisper.

"S-sir I…!"

"You want me to sob like a fucking idiot? Is that it?" He continued to glare down at her shaking form. He was not amused by any of this at all. "You want me to bare my soul to you? Is that what you want?" Her silence angered him, he clenched his teeth and balled his fist tightly until his knuckles turned white. "WELL?!" he bellowed, making her own voice weak and she held back tears knowing they would just aggravate him.

"I-I-I j-just thought…!"

"Thought what you DAMN brat?! What good is falling apart like that going to accomplish?!"

As he continued to yell at her Alex noticed a change in his eyes. Yes, they were still glaring at her, but as she paid closer attention it was obvious to see the pain he was reliving. He was reliving it the moment she inquired about his precious ones. Without really thinking she forcefully wrapped her arms around his neck. The act left him stunned and he stood awkwardly in her embrace.

"They…were precious to you, right?" she whispered, keeping her hold tight. "So it's okay to grieve for them."

His arms that once were limp suddenly came up to grip onto her own tightly, and she was almost certain he was about to tear her off him. When he didn't she went on.

"You can fall apart, sir and I'll hold you together."

With that she heard his voice crack. The sobs started out quietly at first then the anguish slowly seeped out. It was painful. Painful because she could tell exactly how long he had been holding this intense agony back. And finally he was letting all his grief out onto the filthy cadet and this newly cleaned storage unit while the rest of troops slept unaware of the wails of their Corporal.

After a while his sobs became quiet again before stopping altogether. He pulled away from her and the room was too dark now to see his face. He dismissed her and she left respectfully this time, only bidding him a polite good night.

The next two weeks were different and every Cadet, Squad Leader, and even Commander Erwin took notice. No one could really decipher it but the Lance Corporal had somehow changed. Of course he was still vulgar, cold, and abrasive, but all the hostility in it was gone. Neither of the two spoke about the incident. There was no need too and no one needed to know. '_Amazing what the cleanse of the soul could do.'_

The morning of yet another expedition, Alex ran into the Corporal at the stables. She smiled politely and bid him a good morning and a good luck for the day. To her surprise he did not give her a dirty look, he simply nodded. That had been the only highlight since the expedition was grim as the others and they lost more good people. When the remaining of the troops came back, herself included she once again had tears coming down from her cheeks. When she heard a familiar click of the tongue next to her she quickly straightened up and wiped at her face.

"I'm sorry sir! I'll stop!"

Levi shook his head and wordlessly pulled her hood down to cover her face, giving her silent permission to let her soul cleanse.

* * *

><p><strong>Time skip in the next chapter! Stay tuned!<strong>


	4. Distress

Chapter 4: Distress

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><p><em>Year 850<em>

The next two years seemed to pass by with new faces that came and went. The objective to finding out the existence behind the titans had seemed out of reach…until very recently that is. A notebook had been found that had previously belonged to a scout, and Hanji had believed it was the biggest breakthrough yet. The Commander seemed to think so too and he gave Hanji the go to capture titans for testing. With full proof strategies and new equipment, the missions for the captures were successful, with no casualties. Alex thought that was a miracle in itself and she cried upon hearing the success of the first mission. They had required one titan for every mission to be on the safe side, and tomorrow they were to head for another test subject. It was all wonderful, except Alex had no part in it. The captures required highly skilled soldiers such as Levi's Special Ops and other elite soldiers Erwin and Hanji thought fit. It depressed her to no end. That's why she made it her very own mission to seek permission from the Commander.

She meant to ask him throughout the day, but for some reason she just could not find the right moment. She figured the reason behind this was because she was afraid that he did not see her as a competent enough solider for such an important venture. And if he were to reject her request it would only be proof to that suspicion. Every time she opened her mouth to ask his eyes would bore into her seriously like they usually did when she spoke to him. This caused her voice to crack and she would immediately sprout out nonsense about the weather, or how the oatmeal was especially good today etc.

It was evening now and she was in his office currently polishing his swords, which he insisted she did not have to do, though it fell on her deaf ears. Pressed for time and nervous she decided that it was now or never. "Commander! Permission to speak!"

The Commander raised an eyebrow at her sudden and very odd request. "Alex, you know you very well can."

A while back he had taken to calling her by her first name, as did many of her other comrades while, she stuck to polite honorifics, but the fact that Erwin would call her by name made her stomach flip and glow bright red.

"P-permission to make a request!" she stammered, and berated herself mentally for stalling.

Erwin sighed knowing full well Alexandra only became _overly _formal when she had something distressing on her mind. "Alex." He said again, stern this time.

"Ah! I'm sorry sir!" She looked down at the newly polished sword in her hands. "Sir…I would.." When she decided to meet his gaze again is only when she finally found her resolve. "I would like to offer my assistance with tomorrow's operation!"

He stared at her for a moment before speaking. "I see." He said simply, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "We already have all the people we need. Your desire to assist is very much appreciated, but there is also no need for it."

_No need_

The look on her face must have been pitiful as Erwin's hard features twitched not to let his own expression falter.

"But on the expedition's-!"

"This is **not **an expedition. With this, we can avoid unnecessary causalities." Came his retort.

"Please sir!" She pleaded his sword tight in her grip. "I want to be a part of this!"

"…Why is it so important that you to take part of this particular undertaking of the titan experiments?"

"Because…I wear the Wings of Freedom too." She locked eyes with him. "This breakthrough with the titans is amazing. A miracle. It means the death of our comrades…my brother won't be in vain." She smiled weakly now at the handsome man at his desk. "I want to be involved and know I did my part for the sake of humanity. And not just go about safely filing paperwork and getting tea…"

Realizing how that last bit sounded she sat up ridged, shook her head and waved her arms frantically.

"Ahh! OH! I didn't mean to sound ungrateful! I love being able to work with you! Really I do! I just meant-OUCH!" She had not been paying attention and her finger slid along the edge of the Commander's blade, giving her a nice clean cut.

"Alex!" Erwin shot up from his chair when had she cried out. "You need to be more careful!" Quickly pulling out a first aid kit from his bottom drawer he came over to her, kneeling down on only one knee. "Here. Let's have a look…"

Ever so gently he reached for the injured hand, which she held closely to her chest. Carefully he brought it towards him before taking out bandages and peroxide with his free hand, all the while not saying a word. His touch around her hand as he worked was so warm and tender that her face turned a very dark shade of red. She winced when he applied pressure to the small wound and dabbed it with the stinging disinfectant.

"Please sir…I can do this." She whispered while he placed the bandages around her index finger. "I want to help. I won't disappoint you."

Erwin was quiet for a moment, and he continued to cradle her hand in his.

"You think that I doubt your capabilities? That I doubt your strength?" He asked, his deep voice sounded so smooth and soft that it entranced her and was amazed she found that she could still speak.

"I just want prove that I-" He cut her off.

"You've proven yourself long ago." With that said he released her hand the warmth leaving along with it. He sighed, defeated and stood up.

"Very well then. You leave tomorrow morning, and I will notify Hanji so that she may assign you a position she feels is best."

Smiling brightly, Alex also stood up to heart salute him.

"Thank you, Sir!"

He took a step towards her and the closeness made her heart skip a beat.

"Promise me something, will you?" he asked, once again speaking in that smoothness that captivated her so.

"Yes Commander?" she whispered, though she had not meant for herself to sound so breathless.

"…Please be careful…"

When morning came Alexandra hurriedly made her way to the stables, excited about the event today about to take place. She could see the Lance Corporal fixing the saddle on his horse and she smiled widely.

"Good morning Corporal!"

After what happened that night things had been different between the two. Of course he was still unpleasant, but she accepted his quirks and she found it easier to be around him. She even enjoyed the conversations they had, even if they resulted in him insulting her. It was a ritual that every time they were about to make a trip over the walls, she would bid him a good morning and good luck.

He merely rolled his eyes at her cheerfulness, and hiked himself onto the four legged mammal. "It's way to fucking early…"

She let out a small giggle, but was quickly silenced when he shot a glare her way.

"Eep! Ehh..Well good luck today sir!" she said, walking past him to the stables to grab a horse of her own. Noticing this Levi raised an elegant brow when she came out on horseback.

"Going somewhere?"

She nodded enthusiastically. "Yes sir! I am to assist in today's capture!"

"…What? Why? We already got all the people we need." He said, the tone in his voice full of disapproval, and she was taken aback.

"Ohh, well I just wanted to see if I could help in some way. The Commander gave me permission-"

"Erwin agreed to it?" He sounded outraged now and she noticed him grip the reins of his horse tighter.

'_Is my being here really that bothersome?_'

She lowered her head as all of her excitement left her. Erwin had been against her decision to be a part of this mission and now Levi seemed to have the same opinion. It made absolutely no sense and it made her question her own abilities as a solider. What exactly had she done to earn this kind of uncertainty from her superiors? The little trip to the base camp near titan forest was quiet, with her dejected mood and Levi was much too aggravated to speak with her at the moment. Though he would glance her way every so often. When they arrived and hoped off their horses the rest of the special ops squad was waiting for them along with the soldiers who were participating. They greeted their leader respectfully and quickly took notice to the young woman with him.

"Well this is a surprise." Said Eld, staring down at Alex with a very polite smile which she gladly returned.

"Alex! You're going to be with us today?" This was asked by the petite and kind Petra.

"Yup! How are you today Miss Petra, Mr. Eld?"

The special ops squad faces all fell as they let out a tired sigh. They had drilled into Alex that she did not need honorifics to address them, and it took her almost a year just to stop using their last names. Now was somewhat of an improvement. Somewhat.

"She's a lost cause." Oluo spat, smacking a hand to his forehead out of exasperation which made the polite girl give self-conscious laugh.

"Leave her alone Oluo! At least she _**has**_ manners!"

"Again with this shit? Petra, Petra, Petra nagging is not a good quality in a wife."

Alex watched as the two bickered back and forth, holding back giggles that threatened to escape. Then without warning something latched onto her from behind, colliding with her so hard that she fought to stay up right.

"Aleeeeeeeeeeex~!" Rang the voice of Hanji, arms tightly around her small form crushing bones. "My cutie-patootie! You're here! I was excited when the Commander told me you'd be lending a hand."

The weight of Hanji proved too much for Alex and she panicked when she felt herself tipping closer face first to the dirt. "Ma'am! Please! I can't carry you!"

The other woman paid no heed to her pained pleas and only laughed at the smaller woman.

"We're gonna have fun today! You'll see! I have a good feeling about this one!"

"Oi. Shit-specs! Get your fat ass off her already. She won't be able to help if you break her back." Levi did not give Hanji time to register his words and instead pulled her off Alex, which the young cadet was extremely grateful for. Her back made an audible crack when she stood up right. Hanji pouted at the Lance Corporal, no doubt sore about the 'fat' comment.

"Just like you Levi to be a party pooper!" She smiled animatedly at the other woman. "Like I said Alex, really happy you're here! I have the perfect job for you!"

The look on the young cadet's face was curious for a moment before changing into one of determination. "Yes Ma'am! Whatever it is I'll do my best!" her devotion made Hanji laugh heartily, while Levi looked on staring intently at the crazed woman.

"Well someone from my squad was injured from the last capture mission. Fell off his horse and broke his clavicle, the poor thing! Anywho! You're going to be the bait!"

"The hell she is!"

Both women looked towards Levi who was now giving a chilling glare in Hanji's direction. Hanji blinked at him in confusion. "Problem Levi?" she asked.

"Sir with all-"

"Damn right. Give her something else to do. She can help work the nets."

"Sir I-"

"But Levi, I already have people for that. And Alex won't know how to work it efficiently in time."

"Umm I-"

"Like it really takes a fucking genius to pull a lever!"

"Excuse-"

"It's not _just _that shorty! There are key signals that she won't!-"

"EXCUSE ME PLEASE!"

Both Levi and Hanji now turned their attention towards Alex, including the other onlookers who heard her high pitched bellow. Some were mildly worried that it would attract a titan. Embarrassed by the attention she received with her outburst, she took a deep breath and directed her intent to the Lance Corporal who had voiced his disapproval from the start.

"Sir! With all due respect, I am more than capable of doing what is needed of me. That's why I am here today. Please, have faith in me!...Sir!" She gave her best heart salute to show her dedication and also to show him respect in the hopes he would approve.

Sadly, he said nothing and his face was like stone. Hanji on the other hand was downright giddy with the cadet's willingness to cooperate. "That's the spirit Alexandra! Your brother would be proud!" she said, causing a warm smile to spread over the other woman's face.

"I'll brief you on what you'll need to do! Follow me while I check to make sure the machines are properly!"

Just as Alex was about to hurry to walk beside the woman, a strong hand grasped her upper arm roughly and reeled her back. She yelped and found herself looking up into Levi's grey eyes. "You self-less brat." He said, peering down at her with disdain and something else she couldn't put her finger on.

"I don't understand what you mean sir." She blinked at him, feeling uncomfortable under his gaze.

"Tch. Idiot. Of course you don't." His fingers gripped her arm tighter, not enough to hurt but to keep her attention. "I'm talking about you throwing yourself into this kind shit."

Again, she was confused. Being a part of the Scout Regiment could literally be translated to 'death'. There was no grantee for anyone to live another day and all soldiers accepted this upon making the decision to join. Then it was inevitable. So why was he so upset? She remembered having these same thoughts the other night with Erwin…though Levi proved to be much more hard headed.

"Sir…" she said carefully trying to avoid making him angry and banning her all together. "I'm…fully aware of the consequences. But my mind is made up. I'm sorry! If this is for humanity then I'll gladly do it. On the expeditions-"

"This isn't expedition." He cut her off curtly, and her head was spinning with déjà vu. "That's mandatory. I fucking get that. But **this **isn't. I shouldn't have to think about-" He stopped himself abruptly. He sighed deeply, closing his eyes and released her arm.

"I give up." He said lowly. "There's no point, especially if you're that stupid."

He brushed past her heading toward his ever loyal awaiting squad, but not before looking over his shoulder at her one last time. "Just don't do anything reckless and get yourself killed." It almost sounded as if he wanted her to promise him so she simply nodded, speechless.

As it turns out Hanji's objective was to capture an aberrant that she has seen in this area.

"_You should see him! So cute! He's in the 7 meter class! Very tall with nice brunette hair! Oh you'll know him when you see him!"_

Alex felt her eyebrow twitch in irritation at the other woman's fascination with titans that she would call them 'cute'. She looked over across the plain, where the soldiers, including Levi's unit, were positioned. They were also bait, but in the sense that they lure away or kill the unneeded titans, something they were more than capable enough to handle. Alex had the task to lure the main target to the traps. She took a deep breath when she saw red flare shoot up into the sky, followed by a black one right after.

Four titans charged after the soldiers on horseback, and upon seeing more humans ahead, they doubled their speed with those powerful legs. It was now a game of cat and mouse, and when she was sure she had not caught the attention of the titans she rode a safe distance to follow. Quickly she identified the one Hanji described earlier. It was certainly the tallest one of the four, and its mouth dripped with saliva as I attempted to swat at the troops. Remembering her orders she shot a flare at it to pull its attention to her, and to her horror it ignored the flare. Again, she shot another flare, this time hitting the monster directly in its cheek. Still it made its way through the smoke toward the troops on horseback. Alex began to shake with anxiety, it was venturing too far off course and there was no possibility to try to lead it back at such a distance.

"_What do I do?! What do I do?!"_

It ignored the flares completely and she was ordered to in no way get any closer les the creature would suddenly decide follow leaving her doomed to be eaten. Weighing her options she reached behind her where a pistol had been strapped. Though useless against titans, she had kept it on the off chance she would need it. She stared the gun in her hand recalling the teachings of her brother and then took aim, firing the weapon. The bullet embedded itself in the titan's head, and it halted its pursuit of the scouts.

Then it ran straight for her.

* * *

><p><strong>Oooo my first intentional cliff hanger.<strong>  
><strong>I hope you guys liked this chapter. It had some action right?<strong>

**and I tried to do a pattern here...don't know if anyone noticed, but hopefully you romantics get it XD**


	5. Unexpected

Chapter 5: Unexpected

* * *

><p>The pistol had done its job. The monster was sprinting for her with the intent to devour her entirely. Quickly, Alex pulled on the reins of her horse, and the animal made a sharp turn to left. Right into the direction where the trap was set in the forest. The titan picked up its speed when she changed her direction, hands out to snatch her up.<p>

She glanced back behind the titan to see that Levi's unit had begun to eliminate the other titans. Afterwards, they would proceed to follow her for backup in the event that the aberrant proved to be more trouble. Her eyes were forward now, adrenaline coursed through her entire body as she dashed through the trees, titan hot on her trail.

'_Almost there! Just a little more..!' _

Suddenly the titan lunged, throwing its whole body forward with its mouth wide open with the intention to catch her in it. It narrowly missed her, but the force of impact once it hit the ground caused her to fly off her horse. The horse flew into the opposite direction while she landed hard on her stomach, the air leaving her.

"NOW!"

The creature roared violently as the arrowheads penetrated the skin of its back, dragging it away from her. Coughing, she flipped over and sat up to witness its helplessness.

"READY THE NETS!"

The titan locked its hungry gaze on to the cadet in front of him. With all the power it could muster its large hand snapped out for her. Alex, who was still incapacitated from her fall, could only struggle to move to escape. Her eyes shut tight and readied herself for the bone crushing grip. She heard the sound of steel, followed by another pained roar and then hot blood on her cheek. Slowly she opened one eye, and then the other to find a pair of boots in front of her. Looking up to see their owner, the Lance Corporal, who had his swords drawn, was also looking back her from over his shoulder, irritated.

"What did I say about being reckless?"

Blinking at him, Alex took a look at her surroundings to see the steaming lopped off arm that moments ago tried to grab her. The titan was now under the net making any kind of movement it was able too. Levi sheathed his swords and extended his own hand to her for assistance which she gratefully accepted. He pulled her onto her feet, and she smiled at him with relief apparent on her face.

"Thank you Sir! I thought I was…" she stopped, and realized he had yet to let go of her hand. His thumb brushed lightly over her knuckles. "Oh! Um…!" She blushed; quickly she pulled her hand out of his. She took no notice to Levi's hand that just lingered out in front of him for a moment, bringing it down to his side when the shrill voice of Hanji called out to him.

"Leviii!" She scolded, glaring at the Corporal who in turn glared right back.

"Don't even start with me shit-specs. Just be glad I didn't kill it." He hissed, crossing his arms over chest turning away from the two women. Hanji waved her hand dismissingly at him, and smiled at Alex.

"You did great Alex! When I heard the gunshot I got pretty nervous, but you did it!" She exclaimed, throwing an arm over the other woman's shoulder, grinning. "He's a feisty one huh?! I'm sure he'll fit in with the other handsome fellow we got last time!" Her grip on Alex tightened out of excitement, causing her to wheeze.

"Ma'am! I can't breathe!"

As the troops rode back to HQ, Alex's heart began to beat widely remembering how Erwin spoke to her the other night and how he took great care of the cut on her finger. The thought of seeing him again after that made her happy and nervous at the same time. Her girlish thoughts were disturbed by the bickering of Oluo and Petra next to her.

"I'm just saying it doesn't suit you. I know what you're doing! So just stop!" Shrieked the young woman, a look of pure disdain on her pretty face. Oluo of course, paid no heed to his comrade.

"What the hell do you know? Hey, Alex! What do you think?" He asked, gesturing to his neck where a familiar cravat was attached neatly. The cadet blinked at it and she realized he was honoring his leader with further imitation.

"Umm..It's very nice Mr. Oluo!" She finally said, with a strained smile of approval. Her forced compliment caused him to snicker at Petra. They argued for a few more minutes before Oluo joined Gunther and Eld up ahead to get away from the woman's nagging.

"I swear the nerve of that guy!" she huffed, hands tight on the reins of her horse.

"I don't think he means any harm. He just really admires the Corporal is all!" Alex said, offering a kind smile to lighten the other woman's mood.

"I understand that but there's a way he can respectfully do that. I mean…" she glanced over at Alex. "How would you feel if someone was imitating the Commander like that?"

…

Alex's eyes widen out of shock and humiliation. Her face turned completely red that she resembled a tomato. Her mouth opened and closed, unable to find words to either deny or defend.

"W-W-WAHHH!? W-h-hy would y-you ask me something like THAT Miss. Petra!?" Her face was close to the other woman's now, with a mortified expression. Petra smiled uneasily at her due to the fact that she was currently having a panic attack.

"Ohhh, ah I'm sorry! I didn't know it was _that_ much of a secret." She said and immediately regretted it when it made Alex hyperventilate. "Sorry Alex, but it is kind of obvious…Sorry!"

"Obvious to who!?" The cadet shrieked quietly, eyes darting around frantically in case someone else was eavesdropping. "I can't believe this. Oh God…I'm so embarrassed…" She heard Petra giggle softly at her.

"You don't have to freak out. If anything…" She glimpsed behind her where the Corporal was a few meters behind with the captured titan, ready to act at any moment. "I wish I could be more like you. How you're able to show how deeply you care for him." The tone in her voice was longing and sad. Alex was astonished at the woman's revelation.

"The Corporal?! Miss. Petra you-!" She was quickly cut off as Petra herself turned the red she had been a while ago.

"SHHHHH!"

"O-oh! I'm sorry!"

Petra sighed, giving Levi one last meaningful gaze before turning her eyes frontward.

"Well…why don't you just tell him?" Alex asked curiously, tilting her head to the side. Petra was an amazing solider. She was skilled, intelligent, dutiful, and kind. Levi chose her to be on his squad so he obviously saw her good qualities.

"For the same reason you won't tell the Commander…" She muttered quietly and Alex frowned, though she understood perfectly. "That and I really do want to focus on my military career. Romantic notions would just set me back."

Their conversation had Alex thinking the entire time on the way back until they were safely behind the walls. It was a depressing feeling to long for someone so strongly, and fear a heartbreaking rejection. That was why she was content with simply being by her Commander's side. She would accept that the closeness that they had now was most likely all she could ever hope for. But…

"…_Please be careful…" _

She wondered if maybe there could possibly be a chance for more.

'_That's just a silly thought…'_

"Ah, Alex. You're back."

Her head shot up, the Commander and Mike were walking toward her. Her stomach did summersaults when she saw the look in his blue eyes; they were filled with so much relief at the sight of her unharmed self. And for a moment she had a fleeting thought that he had anxiously been waiting for her return. Her feet took her forward, and she was running toward him with a wide smile. Unfortunately, the tip of her boot hit a small dip in the floor and she went flying face first into the Commander's chest. His arms came around to lighten the impact of her fall and hold himself steady, while her body was engulfed in the warmth that was him.

"Are you alright, Alex?" she heard him ask, but did not fully register the words since she was distracted by being in his embrace. He even smelled divine; the cologne he wore was a mixture of leather and vanilla, and it suited him perfectly.

'_This feels nice…'_

When she heard Mike clear his throat, obviously very uncomfortable, is when she snapped out of her bliss.

"Gahhh!"

She jumped back several feet away from the Commander, and gave him a heart salute, her face extremely red. "I apologize sir! Umm I-I am here to report the success of the mission!"

Nodding, he placed his hands behind back. "I trust there were no complications?"

She shook her head. "There was a moment where the target veered off course, but the situation was handled. No injuries or casualties."

"Very good. I understand it's an aberrant. I will be heading down there to have a look at it myself."

He walked past her stiff form with Mike by his side. She continued to stand there in that salute until he called out for her. "Are you coming? I will need you to take notes after all."

"O-oh! Of course sir!" She beamed, trotting along after them.

In the evening the Commander shut himself away in his office as he went over Hanji's findings. Alex admired his dedication, but she worried for his health every time he got into these moods and where he would neglect himself. He would forget to eat for example. She brought him a steamed potato, a lightly buttered roll, and a steaming cup of tea.

He did not even notice her when she placed the tray on his desk as he was much to absorbed in the written words in front of him.

"Sir?"

No response.

"Ah sir, I brought you dinner."

Silence.

Tentatively she took the notes he was reading out of his sight which succeeded in getting him out of his trance. He blinked at her once he returned to the real world.

"Alex?" He finally took notice to the tray in front of him. "Is it evening already? Hmm, the time seems to have escaped me."

"Commander you've been reading Major Hanji's notes over and over for hours now." She fussed, frowning at him in worry. "You'll make yourself sick again if you keep this up."

Erwin sighed, recalling the time she was referring too when he nearly passed out from the exhaustion of his mind. She had taken great care of him then too.

"Yes, yes, you're right." He grasped his fork. "Thank you."

He ate quietly and watched her as she organized the notes he had been relentlessly reading. She ended up speaking first after a while.

"It's really amazing isn't sir?" She asked, looking over at him with her emerald eyes shining with excitement. "With the steps we've taken to learn about the titans."

He wiped his mouth with a napkin before replying. "Indeed. If we come across a titan capable of human speech like the one IIse encountered…we may find the answers to their existence."

The smile on her face all but disappeared when his expression appeared to become that of despair instead. "Though I'm not sure how long that will take. And as more people continue to be blinded by the walls, I fear all this effort may be in vain." He uttered softly, his eyes somber. "My only hope is that I will live long enough to see even a fraction of a bright future for mankind."

"You will sir!" She urged, her hands firmly planted on his desk and her light brown hair flew forward. Hearing his doubts made something in her snap. It was one of the very things that drove her to be by his side. For a moment like this when he needed reassurance. "Your leadership has gotten us here! We're so close!" Her eyes shimmered as she spoke, determined to rid him of the negative. "We're so close to having a future without walls!"

The Commander's usual calm and calculating expression was now one of pure surprise. Her passionate outburst had him experience many emotions, but the only one she could read was definitely surprise. Realizing she might have over stepped her boundaries a tad, she stood straight up and ducked her head in embarrassment. "Forgive me for speaking out of turn sir!"

Erwin merely shook his head. "No. I should be the one asking for forgiveness." The smallest hint of a smile came upon his handsome face. "So please forgive me Alexandra, for having these nonsensical uncertainties."

Alexandra was in a daze as she walked down the Halls of HQ. A huge smile played on her lips thinking about the Commander and his warm gratitude towards her. Though after their little moment, Erwin had realized Levi's report of the mission today had yet to be in his possession. He kindly asked her to retrieve it, and she all but floated out of the room high from giddiness.

The Corporal's office was just a floor below and when she reached his door she lightly tapped it three times.

"What is it?" Came the impatient reply.

Taking it as a 'come in' she poked her head in, smiling politely. "It's just me sir."

Levi was at his desk, leaning back in his chair with a tea cup in hand. He looked up from his steaming cup at the young cadet, sighing deeply at the disturbance. "Sorry, didn't recognize you without your nose in Erwin's ass."

Any happiness she was feeling was now destroyed. Highly insulted, she could only gape at him. "Sir! T-that was u-uncalled for!" She tried to sound assertive, but it only came out meek which made Levi scoff at her timidness.

"I assume you're here for my report?" He inquired and took a delicate sip.

"Oh! Yes sir! Have you finished it?"

His grey eyes roamed over to the corner of his desk, gesturing toward a single thin file. Alex understood the hint and walked into his office all the while trying to not be overwhelmed with the strong odor of bleach and lemon oil.

"You'll have to excuse the mess. I've been meaning to clean up around here." His office was in perfect order and all the furniture was polished anew. The window was clear with not one smear, and the floor had not a speck of dust. The debris in the fireplace was nonexistent, only two logs lay perfectly center. She giggled as she took the file into her hand which made him a raise a brow at her, annoyed.

"The hell is so funny?"

"Ahh, weren't you joking sir?" she asked, staring at him incredulously.

"No." He said bluntly, he then took out a second cup and poured the beverage from the kettle. He placed it in front of his desk where she stood, indicating for her to join him. Alex smiled; besides their morning ritual she also had the privilege to join him privately for tea. Not all the time of course, but every once in a while whenever she had to deliver or pickup paper work from him.

She sat down and placed the file in her lap before taking the tea cup in her delicate hands. Judging by its rich scent she had guessed it was black tea, the Corporal's favorite. They both sipped their tea in comfortable silence, though Alex had been thinking of today's event the entire time.

"Sir." She said, only continuing when she was sure she had his attention. "I didn't get the chance to properly thank you for what you did today…" She recalled the severed arm that had tried to crush her. "So, thank you very much Corporal. I…was proud to work alongside you and your squad."

He regarded her thoughtfully for a moment, cup in his hand. Finally, he set the cup down to stand up slowly and came around the front of the desk to her. He leaned casually on the polished mahogany with his arms over his chest. "Little brat. You don't have to get all sentimental on me."

Again, she only smiled as it was his way of saying 'You're welcome.'

"I apologize sir! I just am really grateful." She placed her empty cup carefully on the table. "It's just that I know you were skeptical about my abilities-" She was cut off by the clicking of his tongue.

"Tch. It wasn't that, you idiot. Your skills have kept you alive for this long, haven't they?" he asked, towering over her with a serious gaze that made her smile falter. "That being said, it's never a grantee any of us will come back alive." The expression on his face became grim as he thought of all their fallen comrades. "Every scout understands this when it comes to expeditions. But…" This time his gaze softened considerably. "You being the dumbass that you are with your goddamn morals _had_ to throw yourself out there today. Even if these captures have been successful there will never be any promises that someone will not die. That's why the troops for these missions have been chosen the way they have…we don't need unnecessary deaths."

The way he spoke was in his usual tone, harsh and cold. Alex however caught the hidden meaning behind it all. The Corporal was saying he did not wish for _her_ to die so needlessly, if it was something that could be avoided. It surprised her really. He must have really valued her life and her friendship that the very thought of her death made him feel that way. Though it was obvious to see that he valued the life of all his comrades.

A warm, genuine smile graced her face. "Corporal, you really are a kind person." She nearly giggled when he scowled in reply. "I mean it. Humanity is very lucky to have someone like you, sir!"

"Tch…You really think so, huh?"

Before she could open her mouth to confirm it she felt a cool touch on her face. The back of Levi's fingers were brushing against her gently, trailing softly upon her cheek causing her face to heat up. When her mind processed exactly what was happening she quickly stood to her feet, the chair almost knocked down by the abruptness.

"I'm sorry! I-I h-have to go!" She sputtered out, trying to make a dash to the door with the file clutched tightly in her arms. Levi proved quicker, in a snap he grabbed onto her arm to keep her in place. He was in front of her now, blocking the exit while the desk kept her trapped from behind. He brought up his other hand to grip her free arm in an effort to console her shaking form.

"C-corporal! W-what are y-you-?!"

"Relax." There was no harshness in his tone, and he leaned in a little to whisper to her. "Alex…I would never hurt you."

If she had not been so nervous and confused she would have calmed down considerably, but now the Lance Corporal was slowly leaning in towards her face.

"Sir! I-"

"Cut the formal shit." He whispered softly, as their noses touched. "You can call me Levi."

She felt the room spin as his lips drew near to her own. He was so close that his breath warmed her face and it carried the appealing scent of the black tea he drank so fondly. She did not understand in the slightest. Her mind raced to find any signs in the past to indicate that the Corporal was interested in her. When she tried she only thought of the Commander, and wondered what he would think if he saw her in the Corporal's embrace. Even if they were not romantically involved with one another, she still felt that this was act of betrayal on her part. With that in mind, she could not even bring herself to push Levi away as she was too much in shock. With the file clutched to her chest she shut her eyes tightly and waited for contact.

'_Commander…'_

"Corporal, you're needed-Oh!" That was the voice of Petra.

'_That's right! I forgot to close the door!'_

Alex eyes snapped opened and peeked over at the other woman who appeared to be stunned and embarrassed by the scene before her. Alex did not miss hurt in her eyes, and that made her heart sink with further guilt. Levi released the woman from his hold, but still continued to keep her trapped between him and the desk as he peered over at Petra from over his shoulder.

"What is it Petra?" He grunted, unabashed with the situation they were clearly in.

"My apology for the intrusion sir…but, Major Hanji has requested your assistance for an experiment with the titan apprehended today."

His aggravation was apparent when he let out a heavy sigh. He nodded his at Petra in understanding, and then turned his gaze back to the still very much nervous cadet. For a split second she saw gentle longing, but it left as soon as it came when he turned his back on her to make his leave. All the while muttering under his breath about how late it was for Hanji to be doing crazy experiments.

When he left it was just the two young women who stood in his office. One was extremely confused and mortified while the other was just extremely confused and hurt.

"Miss Petra! It's….it's not what you think! Please let me-!"

"It's all right Alex." Uttered the other woman quietly, her voice doing its best not to crack.

"No it's not! Please listen to-!" But once again Petra's calm voice interrupted her attempts to explain herself.

"I told you didn't I?" she said, smiling sadly holding back tears like the excellent solider she was. "Romantic notions would just set me back."

Then she left Alex alone in the office. The top of file suddenly became damp as wetness from above came down from the cadet's face.


	6. Confession

Chapter 6: Confession

* * *

><p>For the next couple of days Alexandra only had one objective: Avoid Levi at ALL cost. After that night, Alex was much too uncomfortable to interact with the Corporal, much less be alone with him. Her regular duties like delivering or picking up paperwork from him were now met with a dreadful feeling. To elude him, she would just ask (and in some cases beg) a fellow comrade to do the task. If inquired as to why she could not simply do it, she would make clumsily excuses. Yes, she would do her absolute best not to face him. If she would see him in a crowd or from a distance she would bolt to the opposite direction.<p>

Literally bolt.

One day, Alex had been making her way down the halls when she ran into Hanji, who had her trademark grin on her face. "Alexandraaaa!"

"Good morning, ma'am! How-" She was going to ask about the titan experiments, but thought better of it because then she would be stuck listening to the other woman's crazy ramblings. "areee you?"

"Oh, just dandy! I was just telling Shorty about my recent developments on-!"

_'Shorty?! As in…'_

On cue Levi came around the corner with the most irritated expression. Mostly due to Hanji's excitement over her 'babies'. The very sight of him had her immediately make a dash right in the middle of Hanji's babbling and back down the hall she had come from leaving nothing but dust behind.

"What was that about?" asked the brunette, eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

Levi stared at the direction Alex had left with an unreadable expression and clicked his tongue. "Probably just wanted to get away from your insane blabber. If you ask me, she had the right idea." He spat, as the woman pouted.

The Lance Corporal had made many attempts to try and speak with her alone. Needless to say, Alex made that extremely difficult. After directly approaching her only made her run he chose another alternative. Much like her method to avoid him, he would send every member of his squad or any other cadets that were available to retrieve and bring her to his office. And every time she would desperately wiggle her way out of it.

"Hey Alex. The Corporal needs to see you." Said Oluo, his arms crossed over his chest with a scowl intended to resemble that of Levi's.

"O-oh umm…" Alex stuttered racking her brain for a plausible excuse. "I can't see him right now!"

"What? Why?" He asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Ummm…I.." Quickly she hugged her stomach and hunched over as if she were in tremendous pain. "My stomach hurts!"

Oluo blinked at her in alarm at her sudden state of condition, he uncrossed his arms and held them out in the off chance she would fall over. "Whoa! Are you gonna be okay?...You're not gonna hurl are you?"

She shook her head rapidly. "Ahhh no! Ummm, I think I should go to the infirmary!" With that said she ran past him, arms still around her stomach.

"Do you need help-?"

"No! Thank you!"

After these attempts failed he left sealed notes on the door of her dorm.

_Alex, we need to talk. Meet me in my office after breakfast. –Levi_

When she did not go, she found another the next day.

_ You're overreacting. I would like to explain things to you in person, so just come see me.-Levi_

Then another.

_Quit being a brat-_

She decided it was best to not finish reading the letter or any of the new ones he left, and eventually they did stop. Alex did feel a pang of guilt to ignore him in this manner, but she was afraid. Not of Levi himself. No, she knew he had no intention of hurting her in anyway. However, his actions from that night made her shiver. His touch, his gaze, and his husky whisper made her feel immensely confused. It was the conflicting emotion that scared her. She was even more frightened that if she met with him in person the feeling might become worse. So she would continue to avoid him.

Though Levi was not the only one being ignored. Petra had not spoken to her since that night either. When their eyes met the other woman would turn her head away from Alex's awkward smile. Even when she came to escort Alex in one of the Corporal's failed attempts to speak with her, she was quiet and professional. Nodding silently when the cadet had excused herself out of the meeting, hastily leaving before Alex could say anything more.

"Alex?"

The only thing that gave her any comfort these gloomy days was the Commander. The mere sight of him had always made her feel an immense happiness, and she felt she needed him more than ever now.

"Hm..yes sir?" She asked looking over at him with a bright smile.

"Is everything alright? You seem distracted." He said; chin resting on the top of hands as he sat at his desk. "I only ask because you've been watering that plant for five minutes."

Blinking, her head snapped back over to the drowned ferns. The soil within the pot was now muddy, and the plant itself had drooped down.

"GAHHH!" Quickly she put down the watering pot so she could take hold of his ruined ferns. "I'm sorry Commander! I'll take this outside!"

It had been difficult to keep her troubles from him when he inquired about her change of attitude. Though giddy with his open concern for her, she knew this was something she had to deal with on her own. Even if she was not sure how.

It was evening now, and when she stepped into the dining hall she scanned the tables planning for a place to sit. Her breath hitched in her throat upon seeing Levi at one of the tables. He was sitting with his Special Ops squad, chatting with Gunther who was on his left. It did not take him long to notice her standing at the entrance, and his eyes locked with hers. As soon as he made a move to get up she turned on her heel and made her escape.

_'I can't keep doing this!'_

She felt childish. Expedition number 56 was just in a couple of days. She would not be able to keep her distance from him for long. He was her superior after all, and this problem they were having was better left off the battlefield. When she peeked over her shoulder to check if Levi had followed, she ended up colliding with a solid figure. The force made her fall flat on her bottom with an audible thud.

"Ow…" She winced when she struggled to move. "I'm really sorry…!" She began, but stopped once she saw the tall form of the Commander standing over her, concern apparent on his face.

"Alex, why are you running in the halls?" Being the perfect gentleman, he kneeled down and extended his hand to her. She blushed deeply, placing her hand into his and he carefully brought her to her feet.

"Ah! I'm sorry Commander!" She said, wincing when she felt the soreness of her behind. "I was just…trying to get to my room. I'm not feeling all that well."

"I see…" He murmured. "Perhaps it would be best if you paid a visit to the infirmary then."

"Oh! Noo that's not really necessary sir! I'm sure it will pass-"

"I'm not so certain that it will, being that it has gotten considerably worse these past couple of days." He said, with a scrutinizing gaze. "I believe you might be seriously ill. That, or…" He took small steps toward her, making a small gap between them. "Maybe there is something most troubling on your mind."

She twiddled her thumbs nervously. She was not surprised in the least bit that he was able to see her distress. However, she had no intention of telling him about Levi. No matter how much she wanted to pour all her worries and that darn confusion out to him, ultimately it was only between Levi, her, and to some extent Petra. "I have been feeling a little tense lately." She smiled weakly up at him. "But you don't have to worry Commander! I'll snap myself out of it before the expedition!"

He let out an exhausted sigh. "…Alexandra, we've known each other for a while, you can call me Erwin if you like."

That left her speechless, and she knew her face was turning red all over. He wanted her to call him by name. His first name. It was a small request from him, but it meant the world to her.

_"You can call me Levi."_

As soon as that moment popped into her head, she immediately tried to block it out with the help of those blue eyes that were looking directly into her own.

"Sir I…"

"Erwin." He insisted.

"Erwin…?" She let the name roll off tongue slowly, it sounded awkward to her to say it out loud. Though the fact she had said it made her want to smile, and from how the Commander's demeanor changed he also seemed very pleased.

"Yes?"

Then she felt her nervous leave her, and she was over-powered by a wave of shyness.

` "Ahh! I'm sorry Commander!" She exclaimed a bit too dramatically, ducking her head in shame. "I just can't!"

Being a master of concealing his thoughts and emotions, he only let his face fall just _slightly_. Holding back a sigh, he simply shook his head at her in defeat. "Its fine, I suppose. In any case, I do hope you find a way to get out of your glum state." His hand suddenly came up and brushed her hair out of her face. "Depression does not suit you."

She felt her face heat up at his touch, her eyes completely wide at the contact. Much to her dismay he drew his hand back, and walked past her to head for dining hall. She turned around so she could continue to keep her eyes on him. Watching him with his back to her, a strong emotion burst from within. Her body took control and she hurried after him. Her arm was outstretched, desperately trying to reach for him.

Her hand grasped the back of his uniform. "Wait!"

_'..I want to tell him…'_

Erwin turned his head to look over at her, caught between surprise and concern.

"Alex? What is it?"

"Commander, I…" The material of the back of his uniform became balled up in her fist as she clenched around it tightly out of nervousness.

_'I want him to know how I feel…'_

"I just want to tell you…" She began again, her voice soft and cautious. Her heart was pounding against her chest that she was sure he was able to hear it. Her palms produced sweat and shook.

_'I want to tell him how special he is to me…I want to tell him I…'_

"Alexandra-?"

"I love you…" The words came out so soft that they were barely audible, but Erwin's ears picked up on them clearly as if she screamed it throughout the castle. He was stunned into silence.

"When my brother died I thought that was the end of my world. I felt a part of me died too and when I met you…you gave me the strength to keep fighting. You inspired me." Her face was hidden behind her bangs, and she kept her hold on him. "That part of me that was dead came back to life because of you. That's why…" Her voice cracked, tears hitting the floor below their feet. "That's why I want to always be by your side. I will follow you anywhere, if you let me." She took a deep breath to say her final words. "I love you, sir. I've loved you for the longest time."

The silence was unbearable. Erwin was no longer looking at her, but now at the empty halls in front of him. When he said nothing, she titled her head up to get a peek at him with tears glistening at the corners of her eyes. It was a relief to finally have this confession out in the open. She was happy to let him know how she felt about him, but the silence had her wondering if she was going to regret it.

Finally he spoke.

"…I'm flattered. But you are aware of our fraternization policy. Section 5.8. It is frowned upon for a superior officer to have a romantic relationship with a cadet." His tone was coldly professional, and her eyes widen from the devastating blow. "You are a soldier of humanity, and your priority is just that." Again, he was detached. Though had she not been so stunned by his harshness, she would have been able to catch both of fist that were clenching tightly as he spoke. "You must forget these silly notions that you have." He pulled away from her grasp. "That's an order."

Without looking back he left her there alone, her arm still outstretched toward him. He was out of reach from her now.

_'Silly notions…'_

She felt completely numb. She was flabbergasted at how such a harsh rejection could leave her this numb. Her arm dropped to her side and she stared at her feet. The whole world around her grew quiet. She didn't even hear footsteps approach her.

"Alex..?"

Eyes still wide from shock, her head shot up to see Petra. The other woman had a comforting smile, but her eyes were full of sympathy. "I uh..I sorta saw…"

She stared at Alex for a moment before her back went straight and she placed her balled fist on her hips. "Well what does the Commander know right? He'd…he'd be lucky to have someone like you!" She shook her head. "The nerve. He could have been a little nicer about it at least!"

Alexandra only looked on as Petra continued to rant about the Commander's cruelty. She was touched really. She was certain that Petra must have felt this kind of numbness and shock when she walked into the Corporal's office that night. And here she was being kind to Alex, the very one who was embraced by the man she had "silly" notions for.

Alex understood.

As Petra went down the list on Alex's good qualities, the cadet's legs moved forward to the other woman. Drawn in by that kindness she found herself buried into the other woman. Petra was surprised for only moment until she heard the sobs. Then she felt dampness on her uniform. Tears. Petra's eyes softened as Alex began to shake violently into her, and she wrapped her arms around her crying comrade.

"There, there. Just let it out." She cooed.

And she did. She cried as the numbness disappeared and the ache of her heart amplified with each passing second. The tears relentlessly kept coming as the rejection repeated in her head. It took her five years to confess her feelings, and to be met with such indifference hurt her greatly.

The man she loved had turned his back on her.

* * *

><p>REJECTED! Another depressing chapter done by yours truly. Sorry D:<br>But at least Alex and Petra are friends again, right?

Okay, so next chapter it will follow the official AOT story-line (with tweeks of course), so if you don't like spoilers then you probably shouldn't read anymore :[ but I hope you do.

P.S. Alex pulled a Sasha with Oluo!


	7. Distance

Chapter 7: Distance

Cold. He was cold. The Commander had been keeping himself at a distance from Alex. He hardly acknowledged her when they worked together. Her daily duties were the same, but he would dismiss her frequently and early. If the two brushed against each other he would immediately recoil back from her as if he had been stung. It was all so agonizing. She would fight back tears every time they made direct eye contact; his rejection was carved into her heart. It was a moment she wanted to desperately white out, but given the circumstances that was impossible. No matter how much she cried, cleansed, and attempted to move on from this, she couldn't.

She loved him.

She could not follow his order and forget. She could not force her love on him either. So she would just sit on her strong feelings again and long for him, while he would forever be out of her reach.

_'I guess…that's how it has to be…'_

However, his attitude towards her was still very awful to handle. He was completely indifferent and when he had nothing to request from her, he would simply ignore her presence. She tried to make small talk, but she would be rebuffed and the situation all the more uncomfortable by this cold professionalism.

It made Alex think of how she had been treating Levi.

In truth, she did miss being around that rude man. Despite his grouchiness, Levi was incredibly insightful, and a very good listener even if his responses were almost always snippy. Even though she most likely would not tell him about her problems with the Commander, he would be able to pick up on her despondent behavior. For now Petra would seek her out to see how she was doing, which Alex thought was incredibly kind. Still, she found herself wishing she could talk to Levi. The Corporal had ceased all his attempts to resolve their issues, which did not surprise her being that she made that task problematic.

The expedition was today, and she believed it would be best to make amends with the Lance Corporal. There was no telling if she would make it back, and she'd be damned to leave this world with their friendship damaged. As she headed toward the stables she felt her stomach twist into knots. She was extremely nervous for two reasons. One, he was most likely not too happy with her at the moment. Two, she kept having flashbacks of that night. She could practically feel his cool fingers on her skin, causing goosebumps to appear on her arms. These conflicting thoughts and feelings were troublesome. Especially now with these complications that were going on with the Commander.

She could see Levi readying his horse, and she carefully approached him while his back was turned. She took a deep breath. "Good morning Corporal." She greeted pleasantly, but the cheeriness that would usually come with it was nonexistent.

He did not even turn around to look at her.

"Umm.." She shifted her weight on one foot to the other. "D-did you enjoy your breakfast, sir? I thought the oatmeal was really delicious!"

She mentally slapped herself. While it had successfully gotten him to face her, he was clearly annoyed at the nonsense that had flown out of her mouth.

"Really?" He spat, glaring harshly at her meek form. "You've been avoiding me for **days**, and now you wanna talk about fucking oatmeal?"

"I'm sorry! I got nervous!"

He rolled his eyes, and turned his attention back to his horse. "Well, if that's what you want to talk about then I think I'd rather be spared of your stupidity and not talk at all."

She bit her lip. _'He's really mad at me. He's got the right to be though…'_

"Corporal I.." She took a step towards him. "I really am sorry! It was wrong and cruel of me to ignore you that way." He said nothing, but his movements stopped. He was listening. "If…if you want to yell at me or shun me, go ahead. I deserve it for acting like a child. But…" She clasped her hands together shyly. "I do care about you sir! You're important to me and for me to ignore your feelings-!"

"Alex-" He said suddenly, but she went on.

"Was completely insensitive to do! I'm so sorry!"

"Alex I'm trying-"

"Whatever you have to say to me I'll listen!"

"Good, then let me-"

"I mean it sir! I promise not to interrupt you! I'm all ears so-!"

"OI SHITHEAD!"

"Ehh..?" She blinked at his abrupt outburst. He was glaring at her still, but the severity of it had diminished greatly.

"Shut up a minute will you?" He let out an irritated sigh. "What happened that night…was a mistake. My actions were brought on by the tea that I mixed with some whisky."

…..

"Wahhhhh!?" She screeched eyes wide with disbelief. "Whisky?!"

_'Is that why he drinks so much tea! He mixes it?!'_

"Are…are you an alcoholic sir?" She asked in a hushed tone, eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"No, you dumbass! But of course the one **rare** time I decide to have a drink, _you_ walk into my office…" The last part he muttered more to himself. "I just wanted to apologize for the inappropriate behavior. If you had come talk to me, or read any of my letters this could've been over and done with a long time ago."

She laughed sheepishly. "Ahh, I'm sorry about that sir." Frankly, she was relieved. The intimacy that night was only generated by the influence of alcohol. Nothing more...Or so she thought. "Maybe I was a tad bit overdramatic about the whole thing."

"Just forget it." He said, now seated at the top of his horse and he stared down at her with a solemn gaze. "So you don't have to run from me anymore, okay?"

She could hear the faintest trace of…hurt? He had been trying to reach out to her this whole time, and explain everything. And she simply snubbed him. It was obvious when she had first approached him that he was upset with her for making him go through this ordeal, but when she thought more about this it ran much deeper. He was her superior officer first and foremost, but over last three years they did form a friendship. An unusual one, but still they had grown very familiar with one another, and yet she so readily pushed him away.

"Sir. I really hope you can forgive me." She softly murmured with eyes downcast as she recalled her shameful behavior.

"Didn't I just say to forget it already?"

"No! I won't forget!" She exclaimed, her head snapped up to look at his piercing grey eyes. "I meant it when I said you're important to me, sir. I may have let you down as a friend, but I promise to never turn my back on you again!" Resolute, she waited for his response.

He only stared at her owlishly as he took in her pledge, and clicked his tongue. "Get your horse. We're going to be late."

With a smile she nodded enthusiastically and quickly ran into the stable to retrieve a horse of her own as ordered. When she came back out Levi was still in the same place, waiting for her, though his expression held that of impatience. "About time."

Scoffing when she replied with a rather cheery apology, he pulled on the reins of his horse to turn only to once again be stopped by Alex.

"Corporal?"

"What now?" He asked, glancing back to see her smiling face.

"Good luck today!"

"Tch…Idiot."

Secretly, he was pleased.

When the Scout Regiment made it to the gate, a whole crowd was waiting for them. There were cheers of encouragement, and hopeful gazes that held on to a peaceful future without titans. Then there were mutters of doubt from those who believed that the scout's progress was unproductive, and money just wasted. She tried to avoid looking at the numerous faces due to shyness or in many cases disgrace, but she'd always make sure to smile so that she could better convey optimism. She would admire how the Commander would handle these affairs, head held high, straight face, and dignity intact no matter the aftermath.

Unlike Levi who scowled at both opposing voices, especially at the loud cheers that solely glorified him.

"It's so damn noisy." He grumbled, glaring sourly.

"Aw, Levi don't be mean!" said Hanji with a playful smile. "If only your fans knew how much of a clean freak you are! Their poor little hearts would break!"

"Ah, Corporal, maybe it wouldn't hurt to show a courteous response to these people." Alex suggested with a helpful smile, to which Levi responded with a roll of the eyes.

"Please, I'm not about to kiss their asses to make myself look better. That's _your_ area of expertise."

Offended, her now red cheeks puffed out and one dainty eyebrow twitched. "Gah! There's nothing wrong with being polite!" Her disruption made her horse whine in protest and with a sigh she patted the side of her horses' neck. "I'm just saying they recognize the difference you make. They see you and have a reason to hope.**"**

He said nothing, but he glanced over to a small group of children that were staring at him in awe and gave them a curt nod. The acknowledgement from Humanity's Strongest Soldier had the children beaming brightly. Though she swore she heard him mutter the word "Brats" under his breath she could not help but be delighted by his act of kindness.

Taking a bit of courage she quickly peeked at the crowd, and bright green eyes met a familiar dark green. A young man and noticing the patch symbol on his uniform he was still in the training corps. His emotions were clear on his face; admiration, appreciation, and determination. Perhaps a promising new soldier then? When their gazes met his eyes immediately widen with recognition, and he animatedly started waving at her. Bemused, she offered a wave of her own, blinking at him and his familiar face.

_'Where have I seen him before…?'_

Then a flash of a memory from long ago came to mind.

_"Look Mikasa! The heroes are back!"_

Was that the little boy from five years ago? As the distance between them grew larger she craned her neck so she could continue to study him. _'Is that really him?' _She wondered as he finally disappeared into the sea of faces. Hanji's voice broke her out of her trance.

"Alex? Did you hear what I said?"

Alex turned her head to her right where Hanji resided. "Oh um, I'm sorry ma'am! What was that?"

"Something the matter?" She asked curiously, and Levi who over heard the inquiry also gave her his attention.

She glanced back at the crowd where the young man had once been. "It's nothing." She answered quietly. "Just thought I saw someone I knew…"

…

_**SLASH**_

The scouts were out of the Trost district and were now currently in battle with the titans. Alex stood in a defensive position on the Commander's left while Mike had his right. There were other soldiers scattered around the area as well, ready to attack. Personal issues aside, she was still apart of Erwin's unit. The mission was to clear out the titans in Wall Maria. They would start with the first town, and they hoped to at least make it to the boarder.

The ground beneath their feet began to rumble as a 15 meter class titan approached their group. Its mouth opened wide at the sight of a promising meal. Erwin was quick to command the attack. "Hit it from every angle!"

Alexandra and the rest of the squad all charged at the monster with no hesitation. Using her gear she flew forward around the creatures' leg, she proceeded to lop off a rather large piece of flesh from the back of its knee. Another soldier followed her example and mimicked the attack on the opposite leg, causing the titan to tumble forward. The other scouts took advantage of this and cut at its failing joints. Erwin and Mike were upon the titan's nape in an instant and in perfect synchronous they sliced into its neck so deep that the head itself fell off.

The victory was short-lived when another titan jumped out. It crashed itself into a nearby building. Her gear had moved her out of the way in time, but five her comrades had perished under the rubble, including the soldier who had helped her inflict damage on the other titan. Her expression turned grim when she saw her comrade's bloody hand stick out from the wreckage.

"ALEX! GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

Erwin's deep voice alerted her to the titan that had crushed her comrades. It leapt up to take a bite out of her. A solid figure hauled her out of the way just in time and they both hit the top of the roof. She found herself wrapped protectively in the Commander's arms, his teeth grinded together at the harsh landing.

The pain on his face had her react instantly. "Commander! Are you alright?!"

"I'm fine." He muttered, as he pushed himself back up to stand bringing her with him.

The titan that had tried to devour her now lay dead in smoke. Mike flew out of the hot smoke and gracefully landed on the roof next to Erwin. He sniffed the air briefly. "Erwin, they're heading north from here."

Erwin nodded, his next plan of action already in mind. "Gather the remaining troops and take out as many of the enemy as you can. We can't have them outnumber us in one area, lest we will be overwhelmed. Then we shall regroup."

Obeying, Mike leapt onto the next building leaving Alex and the Commander alone. His cold blue eyes locked with hers, and just like that her heart was captured once more. _'He saved me again.'_ However, blood began to seep out from the top of his head. The sight of it caused her breath to stop in her throat.

"Sir you're injured!" She exclaimed, voice full of concern and distress. Carefully on her tippy toes she reached up to exam the wound, but he caught her wrist before she could touch him. His grip was loose while his features remained indifferent.

He released her hand and reached into his pocket to pull out a cloth. "It's merely a flesh wound. You should be more concerned about your surroundings." He said stoically, as he wiped his face clean. "Don't let your guard down again."

"Yes sir." she responded pitifully, and her shoulders slumped dejectedly.

"Stay here and tend to the wounded." He ordered, and turned away from her. It dawned upon her that he was purposely trying to put more distance between them. It must have been obvious to him that her affection for him was still very much present. He no longer wanted her to follow him, and that meant the vow she made long ago would be broken.

"Is…is this what you want?" she whispered, her fist clenching as tears threatened to make an appearance. "You just want to push me away?"

He was quiet only for a moment. "I want you to obey my orders, which you have yet to do." He was not referring to the current order just given, but the one he had made for her to forget her feelings for him. "Never the less, this is neither the time nor the place to discuss this."

"Commander please…." She took several steps toward his brooding figure. Death was the last thing on her mind. She just did not want to lose him this way. "I want to help you achieve your goals. Your dreams for the future are my dreams too! I can't help if you don't let me follow you!"

He rotated his entire body to face her. He wore the same calculating expression, but the aura around him had changed completely as he stared down at her. "Do you think of your brother often?" He asked suddenly, surprising her greatly.

"Sir?"

"Answer the question." He demanded, blue eyes digging into her very soul as he waited for her response.

"O-of course. All the time." She could only stare back him in confusion. Why bring Daniel up?

The next question was even more shocking. "Do you think about how he died?" The way he spoke in that deep monotone of his made the question sound almost cruel. She took a step back from him as she tried to process exactly what he was trying to tell to her. "Do you?"

"Yes."

It was difficult not to think about the manner of his death considering her current position. She would see it when she had to witness a fellow comrade being devoured. At times when she closed her eyes to sleep, she could see her brother's face contorted with fear an agony in the jaws of the titan's mouth.

"You had said that I was the reason you were able to live again." He said, haunted by a distant memory. "But I am the reason you were in a deep despair in the first place. Your brother took my place in death."

She was stunned into silence and tension grew thick. The wind blew around them as they stood on that roof. Alex replayed his words, trying to comprehend this very horrific, unexpected discovery.

"I don't understand." She uttered eyes wide and pleading for answers.

"I was badly injured at the time, and my gear was damaged. I was helpless." He said, looking past her as he recalled the moment that was so long ago. "Your brother had come to my aid, despite given orders to retreat. He was able to get the titan's attention away from me, but another had shown up...He was ripped apart before my eyes." He watched as the tears flowed down her cheeks. "I was able to use his horse to escape."

Her lips were parted but she could not speak. Even if she wanted too, she could not make use of her voice or even think of what words to say, or how to react to this. Emotions ran wild as memories of her brothers' wisdom and smile ran through her head. The man she dedicated herself to claimed to be responsible for his death.

"Now that you know the truth…Do you still wish to follow me?"

* * *

><p>My god, this chapter took forever to get out. Next chapter will be better :]<p> 


	8. Breakthrough

Chapter 8: Breakthrough

* * *

><p>To say she was shocked would be an understatement. It had felt so unreal that time had seemed be at a standstill. There was his confession, and then a question. She could only stare at Erwin while he stared right back with that calm calculating face. All the while they both ignored the threat of the titans that were lurking around.<p>

"Why…why didn't you ever tell me before?" She finally asked, as it had been the only question that seemed to enter in her mind. "Why have you kept this from me for so long?"

Again, the Commander simply stared at her. He watched her emotions as they appeared on her face. She had been horrified at first, but now her expression changed and she appeared so broken with her eyes just completely wide.

"…I lacked the courage." He admitted and continued to stand tall and unwavering. "I always felt compelled too. That day we first met, I wanted to tell you then."

A flash of memory and she was brought back to that moment where they had first locked eyes with each other. He had stared at her intently then too, and she had not a clue of what he was thinking. Until today that is.

"Every day, I have wanted to tell you."

Every time he had brought up Daniel she felt it had been done with purpose with those meaningful gazes, but in the end he would simply share other heroic tales of her brother. These five years they have known each other, and he kept this from her. When she said nothing he continued.

"It's odd really. As the Commander of the Survey Corps one would think I could muster up at least an _ounce _of courage, and express my gratitude towards your brother's sacrifice." He finally made the first move, and took a step towards her. The features on his face softened considerably. "And yet, I could not. For that I am ashamed."

It was bizarre to see him reveal these kinds of emotions. She could call him an open book right now, and she knew he was truly tortured by this secret he had kept for so long. Alex could feel that, and she let out a breath.

"I don't blame you for Daniel's death." She said, and did not miss the shock on Erwin's face. "He died protecting someone, and I know he wouldn't have any regrets about that. That's why he joined the Scouts…to protect people and save humanity." She did her best to smile as she thought of her brother and his nobleness. "It's not your fault."

He closed his eyes and for a moment he actually looked at peace. He was relieved that Alexandra did not resent him for the loss of her brother. He had been prepared for her to cry from anger and despair, for her to look at him with disgust. As he predicted, here she was with a tear stained face, but instead of a grimace she had a reassuring smile.

Erwin seemed to lose his composure for a small moment, and he closed the distance between them. His hands cupped her cheeks, and he bent down to plant a small kiss on her forehead. The action took her by surprise, but it was fleeting being she was still very emotional and leaned further into him.

"But now do you understand…?" He whispered into her ear and his thumbs rubbed the tears coming down from her eyes. "I can't give you what you desperately want from me."

She did not respond to him. Instead she peeked over his shoulder to find a rather disturbing sight.

"Commander the titans..!" She pulled away from him, and pointed towards a herd of titans, different shapes and sizes.

On full alert Erwin's features became hard as he scanned the giant mass of titans. Mike had said earlier some had been heading north but now more were starting to gather together…in the direction of Trost. The same horrific thought struck both Alex and Erwin.

"I'll go inform Levi and his squad. Notify all scouts to head back to Wall Rose." He ordered, and jumped into the air to search for the Corporal.

Alexandra quickly flew into the opposite direction, shouting at all soldiers in sight to grab their horses and head back.

'_Has Wall Rose been breached..? Is it happening all over again?!' _

When all the scouts got the order to retreat they had been quick to act, riding their horses' full speed to Wall Rose. Alex would have joined them, but her horse had yet to arrive. She stood there with two fingers in her mouth whistling for a good seven minutes, and a feeling of dread came over her when her horse still had yet to show. Many of the scouts developed a close bond with their horse, and while titans did not eat animals they did tend to either step or swat viciously at them. She blew harder, but she could no longer whistle, spit and absurd noises flying out instead.

"The fuck are you doing standing around here?" Came the curt voice of the Lance Corporal, who stood behind her on horseback.

'_Guess the Commander found him.' _

She turned around to look up at him, her eyes shimmering with worry while his just stared back sternly.

"I can't get a horse to answer my call!" She exclaimed, and tore her gaze away from him to search for an available fast mammal.

He also scanned the area for her in an effort to help. "Calm down." He simply said when he did not spot one. "I'm sure the strays just been rallied up."

That was indeed one possibility, she thought. The Survey Corps greatly depended on their horses, and a unit would gather any or all strays to take back to HQ.

A hand suddenly reached out towards her, palm upwards. She blinked at it.

"Well? What are you waiting for?" His eyebrow twitched with impatience. "Get up here."

"Ohh…um no! That's okay!" She felt her cheeks heat up at exactly what he was suggesting. He wanted her to ride with him! She would have to hold on to her superior officer all the way back. How inappropriate! "Really sir! Thank you, but I can go ask someone-!"

He cut her off with the click of his tongue.

"Tch. Idiot. This is no time to be shy! We need to get back to Wall Rose." He outstretched his palm again to her. "Now Get. Up. Here." When she opened her mouth once more to compromise he quickly added. "That's an order _Cadet_."

Alex gulped, but after a brief moment of hesitation she placed her hand in his. He gripped it and pulled her up so she could climb onto the back of the horse. Still uncertain about the situation she made no move to hold on to him, nor did he wait too long for her to secure herself. However, when the horse did move forward full speed, she yelped and on instinct wrapped her arms tightly around Levi's middle to keep from falling.

She was sure her whole face was red at this point. Their bodies were touching, and she was holding onto him for dear life. Alex would see out of the corner of her eyes that some of other cadets on horseback were eyeing her with intense curiosity. She tried to ignore it, and instead thought about her conversation with the Commander.

"_Every day, I have wanted to tell you…I can't give you what you desperately want from me."  
><em>

She was heartbroken again. She did not resent him in any way for Daniel's death, but she was hurt that he had kept the actual details for five years. Alex had been agonized every time she thought about her brother's death. Questions she asked herself in the dead of night. Did he suffer? Was he alone? Questions Erwin could have answered a long time ago. Then to add salt to the wound, he turned her away once more.

With great effort she tried to hold back tears, but to no avail they came anyway. She mentally scolded herself for crying at a time like this, at time where the people of Wall Rose could be in danger. The thought only produced more tears, and without really thinking she buried her face into the Corporal's back. Levi stiffened a bit as he probably already deduced that she was in fact crying, and the back of his cloak was going to be soaked.

"Whatever it is…" She heard him say, surprising her. "Just let it all out. Don't hold back. The Colossal titan might be waiting for us, and you can't be a blubbering mess when we get there. So just let it out now so you can be ready…"

'_Insightful as ever…'_

So she listened and cried into the Corporal's back.

….

When the scouts reached Wall Rose it was too late. The Colossal titan had vanished again, and the wall was breached by titans. Many casualties and injuries which was tragic, but not surprising in the least. What did surprise everyone, herself included was a trainee that could transform into a titan.

It was incredible news, this titan boy had managed to not only take out a number of other titans, but block the hole within Wall Rose. A titan on the side of humanity…or so some hoped. For the most part this boy was met with extreme fear and mistrust. The Commander was cautious when he and Levi went to the dungeon to confront this Eren Jaeger.

She also had wanted to see this boy, but Erwin denied her saying he needed to make sure of the boy's intentions and abilities. Though she bombarded him with questions when he came back.

"Well?! What was he like sir?!" She asked, her arms up with her fist clenched in anticipation. "Did he tell you how he could transform? Where did he come from? Is he on our side? Is he-..?!"

"Alex." He said slowly. "One question at a time, please"

She became flustered as she seemed to forget herself in the excitement, and stood straight. "Sir! My apologies for asking too many questions!"

"It's quite alright."

….

'_Gahh! He's keeping me in suspense on purpose!'_

"…SIR?!"

"Oh yes, Eren Jaeger." He murmured, walking past her down the hallway and she followed. "I'm afraid there is not much to tell. While it is clear he wishes to serve humanity, he isn't much aware how to work his abilities."

"So he's a mystery to himself?" She mumbled, as she walked beside him. "Ahh, well I'm sure Miss. Hanji will be eager to help him…" When she thought about Hanji drooling with delight, her face fell. "Poor boy…But I can't believe we'll have a _titan_ on our side. It's amazing."

"Yes, that being if the hearing tomorrow goes well." He said eyes looking straight ahead, and Alex knew he already had everything planned out.

"The people are really frightened of him. Do…do you think the courts will be in our favor and let us watch him?"

He was silent for a moment, but when he answered it was with absolute certainty.

"We will do whatever is necessary to insure they do."

She should have known what he had meant by that. Her hands gripped the rail as she watched Levi mercilessly beat the Jaeger boy to pulp. Each kick seemed fiercer than the previous one. She had already been stunned when she had finally got to see the face of this titan boy. He was the little boy from five years ago, and she had recognized him in the crowd the day before. Alex had made a move to stop this violent display, but the Commander had anticipated this.

"Don't." He had said. "Trust me."

Her knuckles had turned completely white. She indeed did inquire about the events that would take place, but the Commander chose to be vague. No doubt he knew how she would react. She saw movement at the corner of her eyes. A beautiful girl with black hair and red scarf was being held back by a blonde boy. The look on her face was mixture of anger, hatred, and distress.

'_She must be a close friend…She has a scary glare that can rival the Corporal's.'_

Finally it was over, and Levi had demonstrated he was more than capable of handling Eren. Just like that the Jaeger boy was now a member of the Survey Corps. It was definitely a breakthrough for humanity.

She had decided to not be in the room, she was much too upset. Levi for being so brutish, and Erwin for letting him. She had repeated to herself all the while outside that it was the only way. She took a deep breath.

'_It could've been worse…that boy could have been executed.' _

Further ahead she saw someone sitting up against the building, head down with half of their face hidden in a scarf. It was the girl from the courtroom. The one that had been giving death glares to Levi. Carefully she took steps toward the younger girl. The black haired girl was much too engrossed in her thoughts to even notice Alex.

"Miss…?"

The girl's head shot up at the sound of her voice. Her dark eyes stared warily into bright green and a warm smile. "Hello." She answered quietly, and took notice to Alex's emblem on her chest pocket. "You're a member of the scouts."

With a friendly smile, she gave the trainee a respectful heart salute. "Yes, I am. Alexandra Johansson!"

The girl stood up to return the salute. "Mikasa Ackerman."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Miss. Ackerman!"

"Please, you can just call me Mikasa." She said, and leaned up against the wall she had been sitting at.

"Ohh of course!" Alex took the spot next to her, and could not help but be in awe at this girl's beauty. Her features were oriental, which was rare so for her to be so close was memorizing. Even with that furious face in the courtroom she looked exotic. "Things…got a little intense today didn't they?"

The very thought of Eren being beaten so badly made Mikasa's face darken with rage. Her fists were clenched so tightly that Alex was worried she was going to draw blood.

"That short son of a _bitch_." Her teeth were bared, lips curled into a snarl. "I'll make sure he pays."

Not sure how to respond to the girl's plot to get revenge on the Corporal, she only laughed nervously. "Umm..maybe it's best to keep that little plan to yourself."

Mikasa said nothing, as she appeared lost in her angry state.

"I just want you to know Miss. Ackerman…" Alex began softly, hoping to calm the younger girl. "What happened to Mr. Jaeger was indeed horrible to watch, but it did save him. The Commander and Corporal did what they had to do so he could live."

It was meant to convince Mikasa, but as she said the words she found that she also believed it in as well. Even though she had been so angry at the two for taking such violent lengths it had been successful. _  
><em>"Is he your boyfriend?" Alex asked, and blinked in confusion upon Mikasa's reaction. The Asian looking girl was no longer enraged, her cheek were now completely flushed and her eyes wide. She ducked into her crimson scarf to hide her face.

"No." She whispered shyly. "He's my brother."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Now it was Alexandra's turn to be embarrassed. She looked down at her boots and she began to sputter out a clumsy explanation. "It's just I can tell you feel very strongly about him and umm you two don't really look alike-!"

"We aren't related." Her eyes glazed over as if she were thinking back on her memories. "He and his family took me in when I lost mine."

"I'm sorry to hear that…" Alex looked over sympathetically at her and understood why she felt so protective of Eren. "I know how it feels to lose people you love…family." She gazed up towards the blue sky. "My older brother died a couple of years back. That nearly destroyed me."

"….I'm sorry for your loss…I don't know what I would do if I lost Eren…" She said, and then tears began to glisten out of the corner of her lovely eyes. "Now he's going to be taken from me. How am I supposed to protect him if I can't be by his side?" More tears streamed down her cheeks and soaked her scarf.

'_That's certainly familiar…'_

Sadly, she thought about the moment on the roof with Erwin. He was not going to let her be by his side, while in Mikasa's case she was simply being denied due to the circumstances. It would only be for a little while, but Alex understood her anguish all the same. To comfort the girl she placed her hand on Mikasa's shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"He's going to be placed on the Special Ops Squad, and I'm sure the Corporal..-"

Oops. Bad angle.

Mikasa's face was hard once more. "I don't want Eren to be anywhere near that bastard. I don't trust him."

Sensing her anger escalating Alex quickly tried to appease her.

"D-don't worry! He'll be well taken care of! I'll keep an eye on him and make sure he's doing okay-!" She was cut off again when Mikasa leaned in uncomfortably close to Alex's face.

"You will?" She asked seriously, black eyes boring deeply as she waited for her answer.

"Um sorry?" Alex had been thrown off by the sudden closeness, and she titled her head back so she could breathe better.

Mikasa just leaned in closer, as if they were sharing a secret. "You'll watch him for me until I can be with him again." She said, her eyes were desperate. "You'll make sure he stays out of trouble. You'll protect him, right?"

"Ohh I'm not sure I can keep that close of an eye on him…" She said, and winced when Mikasa's beautiful face became crestfallen. "You see, I'm not on the Special Ops Squad so I can't-"

"Please." She pleaded, and took a hold of Alex's hand, squeezing tightly. "You…may not remember, but Eren does. He said he could tell you were a good person. That's why I can trust you. Promise me you'll watch over him…"

It was difficult. Alexandra stared into this girl's eyes as they begged her to do this favor. This girl, Mikasa, was asking her to protect the most precious person in the world to her. While Alex thought she was not the best person to ask this from, she felt obligated too. After all, Erwin had already confirmed he did not want her to be at his side so now she had this void. Now she had an opportunity to fill it and mean something to someone. Alexandra was moved by Mikasa's love for her brother, so how could she deny her?

'_I know what it's like to lose a brother…Mikasa shouldn't have to lose hers….and I'll make sure she won't.' _

Gently she placed her hand over Mikasa's and smiled warmly.

"I promise to keep him safe for you."

Mikasa's shoulder's dropped in relief and she wrapped her arms around Alex to show her gratitude. "Thank you so much…I won't forget this."

Alex returned the hug, but her smile vanished when a thought suddenly struck.

'_How am I supposed to get on the Corporal's Squad?!'_

* * *

><p>Sorry it took so long!<p>

Hope ya like itttt!


	9. Changes

Chapter 9: Changes

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><p><em>"What do you say, Alex?" A fifteen year old Daniel asked, with his hand atop of his seven year old sister's head. He was wearing the trainee uniform, and Alex had been so in awe of it. To her, he was her hero and with that uniform he most certainly looked the part. She had been proud to stand beside him.<em>

_ "Thank you Mister-!..." She stopped and her eyebrows furrowed together in concentration as she tried to recall the merchants' name. Her lip stuck out in a pout. "Ummm…"Daniel only smiled patiently and decided to aid his sister in her distress._

_ "Mr. Schuster." _

_ The little girl nodded and smiled, hugging a basket of bright red apples that were given to her moments ago. "Thank you Mr. Schuster!"_

_ The older man let out a jolly laugh. He bent down towards her level with his hands on his knees and grinned at the green eyed girl. The closeness made Alexandra scoot closer to her brother out of shyness. "You're very welcome little lady!"_

_ The two siblings walked down the path towards their home, with Alex happily holding her brother's hand. Their mother was going to make a congratulatory dinner for Daniel. He graduated as a trainee and ranked fourth in the top ten. Which was why they had been sent to get apples by their mother. She was going to make apple pie. Though no one would have a slice after he would announce his decision to join the Survey Corps._

_ "Alex, you can't keep forgetting Mr. Schuster's name." He said with his eyes forward as they walked on. "It's rude."_

_ He could sense his little sister frown. There was nothing she hated more than to be reprimanded by her brother, who she admired so dearly._

_ "But his last name is hard!" She defended, cheeks red. "Why can't I call him by his first name? Albert! I like it much better!"_

_ "Because that wouldn't be proper etiquette." He looked down at his sister, and gave her a small smile. "It's important to always be polite."_

_ Alexandra did not smile back; instead she blinked up at her brother in wonder. Daniel was a stickler for manners, and protocols. Her brother was known to always use honorifics when addressing anyone, his speech patterns, and actions were very formal. He would constantly try to instill these proper values into her from the moment she learned to start talking. Which was not difficult being that she would do anything to please him and be more like him in any way possible._

_ "Who taught you to be polite?" she asked, lightly swinging the basket of apples with her free hand. She didn't catch Daniel's expression that suddenly became melancholy, and he gripped her hand a little more tightly._

_ "I wasn't really taught. I would watch and hear our father do it so much that I kind of picked it up." He thought about his seven year old self, watching his mother cry upon hearing the news of her husband's death. Their happiness became anew when they had learned he left behind a piece of himself that would be born nine months later. "When he died, it just became a habit by then…and I think it made mother feel better. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being polite."_

_ He stopped walking and much to her delight, he scooped her up into his arms. She giggled, wrapping her little arm around his neck and keeping the apples tucked safely in the other._

_ He smiled brightly at his little sister. "So, one more time sis! How do you say the name?"_

_ She closed her eyes tightly in thought. "Mrrrrr. Schuster!"_

_ They were in front of the house now. It was a small little thing, the paint was chipped all around and the wood was old. Their mother did her best to keep the place in shape, working odd jobs like cleaning houses and laundry of people who were at a higher class. Despite the difficult times the family had managed to stay happy…for a while. _

_ "When is it okay to use a first name?" The curious child asked once more, as her brother opened the door to their home._

_ "That depends on the person." He placed his sister gently on the floor, and crouched down to remain at her level._

_ She pouted in confusion. "What do you mean?"_

_ Daniel pondered a moment before answering his sister, and when he found the right explanation he ruffled her hair. "I suppose it depends how familiar and comfortable you are with them. If it feels right."_

A twenty-one year old Alexandra stared at herself in the mirror. Her reflection showed her standing completely straight, with a fierce determination, and most importantly she had rehearsed this look. The Legion would be relocating soon to an old HQ back in Wall Rose, and Levi's squad would be the first to head out, with Eren Jaeger.

Needless to say, she was nervous out of her wits.

She could not even think of Levi without hyperventilating. Alex was going to do the impossible, and **request **to be placed on the Special Ops Squad. No one would ever volunteer to be in Special Ops, even if anyone wanted too it was position they had to be specifically chosen for. Chosen by no other, but Lance Corporal Levi. She had played out many of his reactions, some he would simply turn away, one had him berating for even asking, and she even thought he might just laugh in her face. Though one thing these outcomes did have common, each one ended up with him out right refusing. She let out a heavy sigh at the certainty of rejection. It was only because of the promise she made to Mikasa Ackerman she would still decide to go through with this suicide mission. The promise to protect Eren.

She remembered the distraught look on the Oriental's girl's face. The thought made her clench her fist.

_'I can't wait anymore! The time is now!'_

With a newfound courage she swung open the door to her dorm and marched down the hall, then upstairs. She rehearsed her lines in her head over and over, as she made her way to the Corporal's office. Any negative thoughts she had were kept at bay in the back of her mind.

….Until she saw Levi in front of his door looking about ready to enter his office.

Seeing him so suddenly made her heart stop and she immediately began to sweat profusely. She halted her steps a few feet away from him, and simply stood there as her bravery disappeared in an instant. She had half a mind to turn back, but unfortunately enough the Corporal had spotted her from out of the corner of his eye.

"Alex?" She went stiff as he turned to look at her, his hand sliding off the knob to the half open door to his office.

"Oh! C-corporal! Fancy meeting you here!" She exclaimed with a very tight smile and took a couple of steps closer to him.

His steely grey eyes narrowed in suspicion and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Actually, it's not being that this where my office is."

She laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her head. "S-so it is!"

His index finger tapped impatiently on his arm, and he turned on his infamous glare. "Did you want something?"

She immediately stopped laughing, eyes became downcast and her lips quivered. Her heart seemed to be beating again, but faster and louder. "Ummm…yes sir! I w-wanted to a-ask you…" She made the mistake to lock eyes with him; his stare was unrelenting and intimidating. "B-but if you're busy I can come back later!"

He clicked his tongue at her. "Tch. Hurry up and get on with it. I don't have all day for your idiotic antics."

"Ahh y-yes sir!" She stuttered, the lines she had rehearsed had all but left her mind. The anxiety was beginning to show, words were said but were not coherent. Much to the annoyance of the Corporal. "W-well you see…I would l-like to…ummm…I-I.."

"Spit it out, you damn brat!"

Alexandra's nerves were finally relocated; she went straight and brought her fist to her heart for a salute. Her eyes were on fire, and her voice boomed with confidence. "SIR! I would like to make a request to be placed on the Special Ops Squad!"

"No."

Dejected, her body slumped forward with her arms hanging like noodles. Truthfully, she had been expecting him to reject her, but his answer had just been so flat and straight-forward with no thought whatsoever.

"…Maybe you would like some time to think it over?" She asked, her voice soaked in disappointment.

He shook his head. "Don't need it. My Special Ops is not something you can just _join_. But my question to you is; why the sudden interest to be on the squad?" His eyes flickered as the answer was already too apparent to him. "The Jaeger kid?"

She bit her lip and said nothing. Alex had no idea how to explain the promise she made, or if it would even make a difference if she told him. She heard a sigh escape the Corporal.

"Whatever the reason you have, it's still a no. There's a certain skill set that is required." He paused briefly as he gazed dully over at her. "And you sure as hell don't meet any of my criteria." That statement made her flinch.

_'Ouch.'_

He spoke again when he took note from her wounded reaction to his words. "Look Alex, you're a good soldier and I'm not denying that, but good isn't good enough for Special Ops." He turned away from her and pushed his door wide open. "Don't worry about Jaeger." He said with the intention to soothe her, even though it was in his usual standoffish manner.

He made a move to enter his office, but she refused to let the conversation end. An image of Mikasa struck her mind, dark eyes pleading and it made her heart break.

"Corporal please!" In flash she was in front of him blocking his way to the room. "I need to do this! I need to be the one to watch him!" Her fingers gripped the doorframe tightly. "I need to be the one to protect him!"

His hand came up to wrap around one of her wrist and with little effort he moved her out of his path. She watched helplessly, tears escaping from her eyes, as he walked past her with his mind unchanged. Once in the office he did bother to turn around to look at her once last time, his hand on the door.

"I understand that you feel the need to do this, but my answer is final." The door began to shut and her promise would be a broken mess. "He will be protected. Trust me."

She did trust him completely, but in that moment she had been so desperate. It was important to keep a promise, and the promise she made to Mikasa was an incredibly big one. Alex would not be able to face her again. To face the only person who had given her a new found purpose since she had been pushed aside by someone who mattered most to her. In that frantic moment, she lost herself and wanted to reach out to Corporal. To shake him until he understood that he was taking away her purpose. Throwing the chain of command, protocols, formalities out the window she opened her mouth.

"LEVI!"

The door had ceased closing. Slowly, it reopened to reveal the stunned face of her Lance Corporal. It had been the first time she had used his given name.

Taking advantage of his attention she pleaded once more. "Levi…please."

There was silent tension between them as they stared each other down. One stare was imploring while the other was contemplating. Finally, he let out a heavy sigh.

"**That **important is it?" He leaned against the doorframe, and she nodded in response. "Listen you brat, as I said there are required proficiencies that I look for. You don't have any of them. But… if you give me a good answer I may _consider_ letting you on; what can you possibly bring to my squad?"

She did not hesitate to answer as it came clearly.

"I can give you my best. All and everything I have. I can give you my life."

Again he only stared at the cadet, he was not surprised in the slightest that Alex was going to give her all to the team. He found himself more concerned with other matters that may distract her from doing what she promised.

"And?" He drawled.

It was almost comical to watch her fierce resolve drain, not at all prepared for that sort of follow up question. Her body went ridged again from lack of confidence, and her cheeks became red. "Um I…sorry?"

He rolled his eyes. "Idiot. I'm asking what else you can do. I'm not about to let you join just because you asked, while your teammates worked their asses off to earn their spot."

"Oh! Of course I would work hard!" She exclaimed, mortified that her ethics as a soldier was questioned. "I would do my part!"

"That's the problem. Really don't know what your part would require."

She pursed her lips together as she tried to make a valuable list in her head. "Well..umm, I can do anything you need me too! Run errands, file paperwork, and-"

He cut her off rudely with the click of his tongue. "Tch. I wonder how you'll be able to manage all that when Erwin needs you to constantly wipe his ass."

The mention of Erwin's name left her feeling too forlorn to be offended. If Levi did relent and let her on the squad it meant the end of her close working relationship with the Commander. She could no longer be on his squad or spend her days beside him, a thought that hurt her heart deeply.

She smiled sadly. "I'll have to resign from my duties under the Commander. I won't be able to work for both of you…"

Levi's attention was now slightly piqued once more. "So what you're saying is you wanna be my assistant then?"

Her eyes widen at the supposable proposition. Being Levi's assistant sounded none too pleasant, since simply to be around him was a difficult task in itself. Though if it was the only way she could closely watch Eren then she would gladly agree to the job. After all, she had to do something to earn a spot on Special Ops, and being Levi's assistant had to be more terrifying than facing a titan.

"I guess I am." She replied slowly, gauging his reaction. After another moment of silence he pushed himself up from the doorframe, and scowled.

"Alright Johansson. If you're gonna be on the Squad you need to get a back-bone and _fast_." He ordered before glaring sternly at her tear stained face. "That means you can't fucking cry all the time."

She blinked and processed his words, the meaning. When she figured he was giving her his approval a wide smile stretched across her face. A smile so big she thought her face would rip into two. She actually had to hold back the urge to embrace Levi tightly, since it would not be entirely appropriate. "Thank you so much Corporal! I promise to do my best! You won't regret this!" She was beaming, and she wiped her face clean of tears.

Levi's face fell due to both her obnoxious happiness and to the fact that she was back to using honorifics. "I regret it already." With an annoyed sigh he ran his fingers through his black hair. "I'll start on the paperwork…"

"Really Corporal thank-!" Then he proceeded to slam the door in her face. "…you…"

That evening she still had been so ecstatic that she had been humming a cheery tune everywhere she went. Eren was in the custody of the Special Ops, which meant he was now in her custody. Her promise to protect him would be fulfilled. Even with her new responsibilities to the Corporal would prove to be hectic she would still manage to stay true to her mission. She gazed down at the bucket of clean water she was holding. Since the troops would be relocating they were to give the current HQ a good cleaning before departure. She had been assigned to mop the top floor rooms. It was a bit on the heavy side so she held it to her chest, arms wrapped around the wooden container. Her reflection in the water showed that she was smiling. Smiling from success. Though as she walked the water made ripples that distorted her image at the exact moment when she thought of Erwin. She debated on exactly when she should give him notice of her plans to resign. In all honesty she had no idea how he would react, still feeling rather scorned she thought she may just be met with indifference.

"Alex."

She was so startled by the deep voice that came close behind her that she let out a loud screech. Her arms flew up lifting the bucket into the air and warm water soaking her entire being. Whoever had indirectly caused the accident had the right idea to jump away from the mess. The now empty bucket came crashing down on her head. She fell to the floor on her back her arms and legs spread out.

She heard her name through the bucket and then felt herself being lifted off the hard floor. Alexandra groaned in discomfort as she leaned against the arms of the person aiding her. The bucket was removed from her head and she found worried blue eyes gazing down at her. Humiliated, her face went completely red.

"COMMANDER!?"

He insisted that since his office was close that she dry off there before she caught a cold. She strongly protested when he suggested that she have a seat on the sofa, pointing out that she was soaking wet. One stern look from the Commander had her quickly take a seat. She wrapped her arms around herself when she realized that her blouse might've been see-through by now.

"EEP!"

The Commander, ever the gentleman did not even spare a glance. Instead he came to her with two fresh towels. "We should consider ourselves lucky that you didn't get the chance to mop."

She shivered at the cold, and the prospect of being soaked in dirty water. "Erm y-yes, that would've been so gross." Her teeth chattered as she talked and took one of the towels from him to wrap around herself. Alex reached out for the other white, fluffy, towel but to her surprise the Commander draped it around her head. His hands began to rotate the fabric, in an effort to dry her hair.

She was speechless by the action and she felt her face heat up. The more his fingers moved around her hair through the towel, the more she found the gesture soothing.

"I had a surprise visit from the Corporal tonight…" He said suddenly, taking great care to be gentle. Immediately she knew what was to come next and she hugged the towel tightly around her. "Imagine my astonishment when he asked me to sign a consent form to have you on Special Ops."

_'Ah! That was fast. The Corporal sure didn't waste any time.'_

"Alex?"

"Yes sir. I did request to be placed into the Corporal's squad." She admitted, eyes to the floor. "For reasons that concern Mr. Jaeger."

"I see." He said softly and continued with the task at hand. "Is Eren Jaeger the only reason?"

She must've hesitated a moment too long. He unwrapped the towel from her head and pulled away from her. "Levi may have given you his approval to join, but I am the one who gets the final say so in the matter. As the Commander of the Survey Corps, I question whether or not you would fit into Special Ops."

Her eyes went wide from outrage and she shot up from the couch.

"Commander! You can't-!" She began, only to be cut off by his stern voice.

"I most certainly can." His blue eyes gazed deeply into her green orbs. "But I won't if you tell me that Special Ops is what you truly want."

"It is." She said with absolute certainty. "I made a promise to someone. I need to keep it."

"…So this resign has nothing to do with what I told you that day…?" He paused briefly. "Your brother."

This time she did not hesitate. "No!" She took a step toward, the towel lay forgotten on the wooden floor. "I told you. Commander…I don't resent you for Daniel's death. This…has nothing to do with you sir." She winced when those last words left her mouth. It was lie to say he wasn't _completely_ a factor in her decision.

Erwin's face remained calculating as he analyzed her words and her own expressions, and when she could not keep his gaze he sighed heavily. "Very well." With that he walked over to his desk where a document lay. There was a signature near the bottom that belonged to Lance Corporal Levi. He picked up a pen beside the parchment and neatly placed his signature under the Corporal's, before placing the paper in her now dry hands.

"Consider yourself an official member of the Special Operation Squad."

She stared at the document in her hands and smiled softly at the Commander. "I don't know how to thank you sir."

"If you really wish to thank me..." He said, catching her off guard when his hands came up to smooth her messy hair down. "Call me Erwin."

"S-sir! I don't think-!" She stuttered, a red blush returning to her cheeks.

"Just this once." He whispered, as a finger curled around a strand of her light brown hair.

_'Why…? Why do you want to confuse me like this…? You told me we couldn't…so why are you doing this to me?' _

She let out a shaky breath and complied with his wishes. "Thank you, Erwin."

Alex was not the least bit surprised when he pulled away from her. Every time she leaned into to him, he would lean away and leave her to fall on her face. Though this time she would not be met by emptiness, since she had new priorities that would keep her most busy. No time to think of a broken heart.

"I will admit you will be sorely missed." He looked around the office, and his stone face transformed into that of a grimace. "Organization is going to prove to be a challenge without you. I doubt I'll get anything done."

She giggled. "Don't worry sir!" She said, and blinked back tears. "I'll make sure to leave you a list so you won't forget where anything is!"

She was enamored when a small smile appeared on his handsome face.

"I appreciate that."

Alex left his office, partly damp with the document of her new squad in hand. She walked down the hall away from the office she had spent five years in out and from. She had a new calling, and there were going to be many changes.

* * *

><p>Wanted to post another chapter before Christmas!<p>

I'll be very busy for the next two weeks -.-

Merry Christmas!


	10. Wolf

Chapter 10: Wolf

* * *

><p>It was odd to wake up the following day as a member of the Special Operations Squad. Alex had many feelings on the subject. For one she felt relieved knowing she would be able to watch Eren, and she would be able to keep her promise. She also felt a sense of pride to be on Levi's squad, with elite soldiers who humanity could depend on. Then of course she felt worried. Worried how the squad would react when they discovered she was to fight <strong>directly<strong> alongside them. The Corporal's words struck and stuck to her.

_"I'm not about to let you join just because you asked, while your teammates worked their asses off to earn their spot." _

The Special Ops members were people she had known for quite some time and had the upmost respect for them. While they were all kind she was not entirely sure how they would respond to her joining. Alexandra sighed, while she had her share of titan kills it was still no comparison to what Levi's Squad could accomplish alone. While she could openly place her life in their hands, she wondered if they would have doubts in placing their lives in hers.

"…Then there's the Corporal."

Alexandra was not exactly looking forward to working under the Lance Corporal. It was one thing to be on his squad, but another to be at his beck and call. Especially since he was very difficult to please. She was accustomed to the ways of her Commander. To suddenly switch from someone that was completely calm and stoic to someone that was brazen and rude was definitely going to take some adjusting.

Still she was immensely thankful for the opportunity since it involved protecting Eren Jaegar.

These were her thoughts as she made her way to the stables to meet up with her squad members. Today was the day the scouts were relocating the whole Legion, beginning with Special Ops. The reason for the departure was to keep Eren far from civilians, and on the chance he lost control. Straight ahead she saw both Levi and Eren at the stable, no surprise that the Corporal was there early. She watched the boy become intimidated under Levi's cold gaze, and his hands fumbled as he tried to strap the saddle on the horse. Smiling brightly she hurried over to the two males.

"Good morning Corporal! Mr. Jaeger!" She exclaimed, gaining their attention. Levi responded with a low grunt, and Eren's eyes widen at the sight of her his mouth forming a small 'o'.

When she reached Eren she took his hand in both of hers and shook it rapidly.

"Mr. Jaeger! I'm so happy to finally meet you!" Her eyes were shining with excitement. "I'm Alexandra Johansson! You may call me Alex if you like!"

The boy's cheeks were now tinted with a rosy red, and she released him when she realized she might have made him uncomfortable. The Corporal only silently stared at their exchange.

"Oh! I apologize for approaching you so strongly Mr. Jaeger! I'm…just really excited to meet you."

She truly was. After all, this boy was going to change everything. He was incredibly important, important to humanity, to Mikasa and now to Alex.

"It's fine ma'am!" He said, a bashful smile on his young face. "Actually…I'm really happy to finally meet you too."

He was referring to their brief encounter five years ago. Before he could say anything more Levi cut him off with the click of his tongue. "Alright, introductions are over. Everyone else will be here any minute." He hopped onto the back of his steed; his gaze pierced the two cadets when they did nothing. "Well?"

Quickly, Eren climbed his horse and Alex ran into the stables to retrieve a mammal of her own. She had been reunited with her chocolate colored horse the day they had discovered Eren. As Levi had stated, her horse had been rallied up safely with the other strays. She entered the stable; her horse looked up with its huge black orbs and greeted her happily with a snort. She ran her fingers through its thick brown hair, and it responded by licking her hand. She was beaming when she came back out, but it quickly vanished when the rest of the Levi squad had arrived.

Petra, Oluo, Eld and Gunther were all staring warily at Eren. The boy could sense their mistrust, but he did not avert his gaze from theirs. Levi broke the tension.

"You all by now know this is Eren Jaeger. The orders are to monitor him and take him down if needed." He took a moment to survey his men for any sign of resentment, when he found none he continued. "But make no mistake; he is a member of this squad. Are we clear?"

"Yes Corporal!" Came the unison reply.

Levi's grey eyes swooped over into her direction, alerting everyone else that she was there.

"Alex?" said the former lone woman.

"G-good morning everyone!" A smile pursed on her lips, while her hands tightened on reins of her horse. The suspicious stares were now replaced with curiosity; though she was sure Eren was relieved to have attention away from himself.

"In addition to that…Alex has also been assigned to the squad."

The looks of curiosity transformed into that of pure shock. Before she could decipher if it was negative or positive, Levi gave the order to head out. Alex was still a little unnerved that none of the members of the squad had said anything to her about the subject. As they continued to ride out Alex took to being in the back, but kept a watchful eye on Eren. She had not noticed that Petra slowed down to match her pace.

"Not that it's any of my business, but I wasn't aware you wanted to be on the squad." She said gently, doing her best not to sound disapproving. "And Corporal Levi didn't say he was looking for new members."

Alex smiled softly. "Ahh well, he wasn't exactly keen on the idea either. It took a lot of convincing!"

"I can imagine. What did you say to make him…agree?" She asked. It was obvious she was puzzled as to why and how Alex was on the squad. Though she knew Petra meant no ill will with her questioning.

She did however, ignore the question when she noticed Oluo lean in towards Eren. Her green eyes narrowed, knowing Oluo was one to try to intimidate the newcomers of the scouts. "Mr. Oluo! Please don't bully Mr. Jaeger!"

"I'm NOT!" He shouted back and again leaned towards the young boy to finish their conversation.

Petra blinked. "So this has to do with Eren then?"

"GAH!" Alex's jaw dropped at the other woman's excellent intuition.

_'Do I really make things that obvious?!'_

"umm!…yes it does." She admitted laughing nervously, but she quickly stopped and her features changed into that of a calm disposition as she gazed at Eren's back. "I…made a promise to someone. To watch over him."

Before Petra could inquire more on the details they heard a pained shriek from up ahead.

"I think Mr. Oluo bit his tongue again…"

The other young woman let out an annoyed sigh. "Of course he did."

When they arrived at the castle it was easy to notice that the estate had not fared well since being unoccupied. The grass around it was unkempt, ugly weeds sprouting out in a tangled mess. The windows of their HQ were covered in grim, cob webs hung as if they were part of the décor. And the dust. She had never seen so much dust. Levi's first order was to clean the entire place. Alex and Eren were assigned the entire top floor. The boy had a difficult time understanding his teammate's distress while they were cleaning. Every time he wiped, swept, or mopped up an area she would go over it, twice.

"Hey Alex…can I ask you something?" He asked suddenly, wiping the dirt off the window.

She had been scrubbing at the stains on the floor; she looked up at the boy and smiled. "Of course you can."

"I don't know if you remember, but…" He paused for a moment; his dark green eyes flickered over to her. "Before Shiganshina, the scouts had returned from an expedition and even though it was obvious that things had gone bad you smiled. Why?"

She did remember. She stopped scrubbing the floor and sat up on her knees. "Well you were a little boy, and just so in awe that I suppose I couldn't help it…" Alex smiled even after Eren's face fell at her reason. "I wanted to give you hope, and I wanted to keep holding on to mine."

Still smiling, Alex turned back to the floor to continue her task and recalled the events of that day. "You see, it was my first expedition. I…watched a lot of my comrades die that day." Eren listened, the sounds of the brush scrapping the floor filling the room. "I almost died too, and the Commander saved me." Her lips wavered, trying not lose her smile at the thought of him. "I lived while so many died. I didn't think I was gonna be able to keep fighting, but the Commander told me I was needed. Humanity needed me. And when I saw you, and the admiration and the _hope_ you had in your eyes…" She threw the brush into a bucket and stood to her feet. "I didn't want you to lose that, and I didn't want to lose my own either."

"I just want to let you know that I still have it. I'm holding on to it and I have no intention of letting go. There's a world out there that belongs to us. Humans. I know we can take it back from those damn titans! Once they're _completely_ wiped out…"

The boy's sudden rage surprised her. The green in his eyes became darker and his teeth were bared, ready for titan blood.

"Mr. Jaeger…?" She said, cautious.

The boy blinked, his features going back to normal and he looked almost shy. "Sorry." He let out a heavy sigh as he studied the vigilant look she was giving him. "Do…do you have faith in me?"

"I'm sorry..?" She asked, eyebrows knitting together.

"The fact that I can become one of _them._ That I don't know how, or why, but that I CAN. How everyone looked at me, how the squad looks at me. Like their scared and don't trust me. I was really excited to be on Corporal's Levi's squad, you know? Learn from him and my teammates. They're incredible, but I know they see me as some kind of a monster-"

"Mr. Jaeger!" She yelled, vehement of the image of himself he had. "You just said you wanted to take back this world for humanity. If that's what you want then I'll put all my faith into you. And…once the squad realizes your intentions they'll do the same!"

Stunned by her words, he just stood there. Slowly but surely he smiled, grateful for her kindness. Feeling restored he set aside the cleaning rag and took a step back to admire their work.

"Well, I think we're finally done!" He said, grinning as he eyed the final room with satisfaction.

Alexandra on the other hand was not so sure since she knew the Corporal's tendency for cleaning perfection. To the untrained eye it was clean, but to Levi's it was not spotless. She grabbed hold of the feather duster and immediately began dusting an empty shelf nearby.

"Ummm maybe we should go over it one more time…" She glanced over at Eren's frowning face. "Just in case!"

Eren scratched his head. "But we've done it twice already." Again he scanned the room. "It looks great in here."

"You and I may think that, but the Lance Corporal has…a rather high level of cleanliness that he would like everyone to meet." The mere thought of the Levi walking into this, what would be to him, unfinished room now made her vigorously work the feather duster.

"Oh, okay. Hey, umm did he say where I was supposed to sleep? I didn't know if he was gonna bunk me with the other guys or not."

She stopped dusting and mulled over the question. The Commander and the Corporal were given certain orders in regards to Eren, but neither had disclosed any information to her. It was frustrating; she could not help but think. Though she was sure to find out what the orders were she still hated being kept in the dark on such matters. Especially since she felt responsible for the boy's well-being just as they did.

"Umm, no I'm afraid he didn't." She said at last and gave him an apologetic smile.

"I guess I'll go ask him. I'll let him know we're finished with the other rooms." He walked out the door, and shouted before he was out of earshot. "I'll come back and help you with this one!"

She smiled and proceeded to dust again. It had been nice getting to know Eren, and though she was taken aback by the powerful rage he held for titans she still was pleasantly surprised by how passionate he was for human life. It was just something that reminded her of her brother, and it was what they had in common. Passion for human precious life. Alex could also tell that the boy was incredibly excited to be on Special Ops. He was glowing with admiration. Hopefully Levi would not _completely_ shatter that image Eren held him in.

Speaking of the Corporal….

_'Did he say he was gonna tell the Corporal we're done?!'_

She thought about the rooms they had cleaned, going over every single detail. The more she thought about it the more she figured they could have done to make the rooms agreeable to Levi's standards.

_'AHHHH! He'll never approve!'_

"Mr. Jaeger! WAIT!"

She raced downstairs to stop the young man, but unfortunately he found the Corporal. Alex had almost skidded past the entrance due to her speed, and had to hold on to the doorframe to steady herself. She had been trying to catch her breath and was able to hear their conversation just in time.

"I have to sleep in the basement?" Eren asked, dismayed as he stared at his hero.

"What did you expect?" Came the cold reply of her Corporal. "Can't have you turning into a titan on accident. It was just another one of the conditions we were given, and it is one that you _will_ follow. Understand? While we're in dreamland, you'll be behind bars."

"Corporal!" Alex bellowed, and marched her way into the room. She heard a startled gasp come out of Eren, but she ignored it. She attempted to glare at Levi and tried her best to look a bit tough. "Is it really necessary to have him confined in a cell like some animal?"

Levi stared owlishly at her. She was upset. Upset that Eren was subjected to something as cruel as being locked up when he had openly held his loyalty for humanity.

"Being that he can transform into a 15 meter titan at any given moment…?" He tilted his head at Eren, feigning studying him. "Then I'd say yes, it's completely necessary."

"H-He still needs to be treated as a human being!" She argued, fist clenching at her sides.

"Alex, it's okay." Eren finally said with a reassuring smile. "I understand what needs to be-"

"It's not up to me, Alex." Levi glared back, unintimidated. "And it's not up to you. These are the orders. Get over it."

Alexandra's bottom lip trembled. It was difficult to keep up this rebellious front and it certainly was not the first time she had an emotional outburst. Though in this case, she did not want to back down since Eren's dignity was on the line.

"Then…I'll take it up with the Commander." She immediately regretted saying this when Levi's grey eyes narrowed into slits. The temperature of the room seemed to go down, and she felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up. Eren looked positively frightened as she did.

"Oh, will you now?" Levi asked, his voice low and ominous.

_'Just…don't say anything. Just agree to disagree.'_

"Umm…yes?" She squeaked in reply and took a wary step back.

_'Oh no…'_

As soon as her answer left her mouth he was already advancing toward her. He snatched one of her wrist, and began dragging her out of the room.

"Eren, take over here while I inspect the rooms you did."

The boy nodded all the while staring worriedly at Alex as she was forced out the room with the Corporal. The two passed by Petra, she held a broom in her hands and she appeared to be both surprised and sympathetic to Alex's predicament. Alexandra thought about mouthing the words 'help me', but a sharp tug from Levi made her think twice about it. Levi's grip was tight around her wrist, but did not dare speak her mind on it and instead just winced. He was eerily quiet as they went up the stairs, and she struggled to keep up with him. When they reached the top, he pushed her into the first empty room and released her from his grip. She gingerly rubbed the abused wrist.

"Exactly where the hell do you think Erwin gets his orders from?" He asked, or more so demanded and glared at her meek form. He was referring to her threat to tattle to the Commander. "Or better question. And use your brain for this one. Where do you think I get mine? Hm?"

She averted her gaze down at the floor away from his glare, and bit her lip. "I know what the orders are. I just don't feel that it's right-"

"Idiot! It doesn't matter what you feel!" He shouted, and he was inches from her face. "You need to understand that Eren's survival depends on other factors as well. If we don't follow these precautions, those pigs in the capital will see it fit to take him out of our custody and execute him! And I'm sure you would be more opposed to that rather than the shitty sleeping arrangements."

Alex was speechless and she realized the Corporal spoke the truth. Eren's life was hanging in the balance from not just the titans but the humans too. They had to make others feel safe as to keep Eren alive and prove his worth to the fight of humanity.

She hung her head in shame. Her emotional irrationality was the reason the Commander chose not to share certain conditions with her. Her foolishness kept her from seeing the bigger picture, and Levi was simply doing his job correctly in protecting Eren from any threat.

_'I'm not really making good on my promise right now…'_

"Forgive me, sir. I didn't even think of those sort of consequences. I was…out of line." She said softly, blinking away tears.

"Damn right you were." He spat. "And if you undermine my authority again in front of your comrades or anyone else for that matter, I'll have you off the squad so fast it will make your fucking head spin."

He was indeed serious and his cold glare confirmed this.

"U-understood sir!" She said, and gave a respectful heart salute. Levi however was no fool to her true feelings on the topic of Eren, and he let out an irritated sigh.

"The basement has several empty vacancies. Make sure the cots in each once are properly cleaned and the blankets washed so they can be put in Eren's cell." He ordered, and crossed his arms over his chest.

Her head shot up at Levi's notion. He was allowing Eren to have extra sleeping necessities so that he would be more comfortable in that cold, dank, basement. Even though she still was not completely happy with the arrangements, she was pleased with the Corporal's genuine consideration.

However he was still cross with her disrespect earlier, and found himself rather eager to wipe the smile off her face. "And as punishment for talking back to your superior; you're going to run a hundred laps…." His eyes swooped over the room they were in, ignoring her miserable sigh. His lips curled in dissatisfaction. "After you redo everything in here. What the hell have you and Eren been doing this entire time?"

The young woman stiffened, her brain and voice were refusing to communicate with each other. "Oh! Umm, nothing-!"

"Yeah, that's what it looks like."

"No! Sir! That's not what I meant!"

He clicked his tongue. "Tch. Do I even need to bother to check the other rooms?"

"Errr...no?" His eyebrow arched questionably at her answer. "I mean umm yes! I think you'll be pleased with-!"

"I doubt that. You and Eren redo this shit. And I want it done before the end of the day, along with those laps."

It had been awhile, she thought, since she was reprimanded in such a fashion. The last time she had run laps was in the Cadet Corps. She did not miss the feeling of aching muscles in her legs, ready to give out at any moment.

_"I'll be watching to see if you slack off."_ The Corporal had warned. _"If I catch you, it will be a hundred more."_

The fear made her pick up her knees higher and she took in a deep breath. She was thankful the wind was blowing in such a nice breeze, cooling down her face. She had never been punished by the Commander. The five years she had worked for him, no matter how many clumsy incidents or outburst she had he never felt the need to correct her with some kind of punishment. Once in a while he would give her a stern scolding, but that was it.

_'I haven't even been on the squad for a full day and I'm already far from the Corporal's good graces!'_

"One-Hundred!" She cried out and fell to her knees, breathing heavily.

"Hey you."

She looked over her shoulder to see the towering figure of Gunther. He had a small smile on his face, and held a canteen out to her. Alex gratefully accepted the water, throwing out a quick 'thank you' and wasted no time in unscrewing the cap to chug the refreshing liquid.

"No problem." Gunther said, and chuckled as he watched her gulp down every last drop. "Laps huh? Sure don't miss those! Don't feel bad though, he made me do laps on the first day too. You need any help standing up?"

She shook her head and slowly stood up, canteen in hand. The conversation made her feel like a rookie all over again. "Well, I can't say that I didn't deserve this. I crossed a line, and made him pretty upset."

Alex felt guilt. Levi had taken a chance to let her on his squad, and she repaid him with blatant disrespect. She was brought back when Gunther's hand came up to rest on her shoulder.

"I don't know the details, but I'm sure he wasn't that pissed." He gazed over at the castle to an open window where the Corporal stood, eyes watchful like a hawk. "I mean, he's the one that sent me out here to check on you. Told me to bring you some water."

Blinking, she too stared up at the open window only now the Corporal was gone. Alex turned back to look at her squad mate and noticed no hint of bitterness of her being there. She wondered if he was masking what he felt.

"Mr. Gunther…do you mind if I ask you a question? And please, be honest with me."

He replied with a friendly grin. "Shoot."

"Are you okay with me being on the squad?" She asked, she grasped the canteen more tightly.

His silence made her shrink. He appeared to be thinking about her question, trying to choose the right words to answer. "I can't say that I'm not a little baffled about it. It was pretty… sudden. But…I don't have any objections to it."

She was surprised, and relieved. "Really?!"

"Well yeah." He said, smiling. "You've been with the Scouts for five years. That's a pretty long time, and that tells me you got the skills that I can depend on the battlefield. I know for a fact Eld's okay with it. Oluo…said some things, but you know how he is."

Then to add to her relief he said: "The Corporal put you on the team. We trust his judgment, and so we trust you."

Alexandra felt good as she made her way down the hall. The squad had accepted her, and before Gunther parted she told him she wouldn't let him and the team down. It was liberating to know that they did not have doubts of her.

_'I'm just so happy! Even though my legs are killing me, nothing can make me stop smiling right now!'_

"I see Levi already has you working hard. I can not say I'm surprised."

Just like that her smile disappeared, and the deep voice had her face turn a bright shade of red. She jumped around, the Commander stood there carrying a rather large box filled with paperwork.

"SIR!" She heart saluted him, and he merely gazed at her with those cold blue eyes. Though she could have sworn she saw a hint of amusement in them.

It was most likely due to her ragged appearance. She was covered in dry sweat, her hair was disheveled from the running, and she must have smelled something awful.

_'Why is it every time I see him, it's always under embarrassing circumstances!'_

When she registered the box in hands she made toward him, face still red. "Here sir! Let me help you with that."

"There's no need. But I thank you for the offer." He dismissed, carefully walking past her. Out of habit she followed after him, in the unlikely event he would change his mind.

"Have you set your office up already sir?" She asked, keeping some distance between him so he would not be able to smell her body odor.

"No, I just arrived. Now, care to tell me about the trouble you've been in? In the short amount time you've been with Levi no less." He eyed her appearance once more, referring to the hundred laps she had to do.

"Oh! Um! I may have over stepped my boundaries and…argued with him, it was about Mr. Jaeger." She sighed. "I was wrong."

"I see." He said slowly, reaching out to open the door to his new office. "If it was about Eren Jaeger, then I suppose I understand. Your devotion to the boy's well-being is strong, and I will not fault you for it."

She intercepted and held the door open for him to walk through. His 'thank you' went over her head, however when she saw the current state of his new office. The furniture was piled into one corner, boxes of paperwork scattered throughout the room. Her eyes widened to the brim of their sockets.

"Commander! I hope you use the list I gave you to help with all this!" She exclaimed, horrified that none of the boxes were labeled.

"Oh yes." He said, placing yet another unlabeled box on the floor. "I believe…I may have misplaced it. Not to worry though, it should be in one of these boxes somewhere."

She gaped at him, exasperated. This was the side of the Commander she only knew. The absentminded, disorganized side of him. The man worked vigorously for humanity's future that he disregarded other things…like tidiness.

"Sir…" She began, and knelt down to one of the boxes. "I'll help you find it, and then while I'm here I can-"

"Alex." He said, voice stern as ever that it made her freeze in place. "I really do appreciate the offer, but that is no longer your job. I can manage. You're dismissed."

She cringed as she left his office. Cringed while she was in the shower, even under the hot water she could not brush off the cold feeling he left her with. The night where it seemed he was going to embrace her, and how he requested she say his first name had now felt like just a dream. The ice cold dismissal woke her up from that bliss she would never know from him.

_'I can't think about him anymore…Mr. Jaeger is my priority now.'_

Clean and smelling nice she made her way to the mess hall to join her squad. She had to be extremely careful while going down the steps, her legs sore and wobbly. Much to her bewilderment, her squad were already leaving the room. She noticed Eren was not among them, and before she could enter the room Levi stopped her.

"I wouldn't go in there if I were you." He said, looking over his shoulder in disdain. "Shitty glasses is with him."

"Oh." She replied in understanding, and wondered if she should rescue the boy from Hanji's crazy ramblings.

The Corporal had seemed to read her thoughts, and clicked his tongue. "He brought it on himself. But if you wanna-"

"Um no! It's fine!" She interrupted quickly, and peered over him at trying to get a peek at Hanji and Eren.

_'Surely no danger could happen to him if she's JUST talking to him.'_

Alex, while feeling sympathy for Eren did not want to get mixed up in Hanji's non-stop babble of titan theories and discoveries.

"How's your wrist?"

The question caught her completely off guard. It actually took her a moment to figure out what exactly he was talking about. Her mind flashed her back to an iron like grip he had held her wrist in.

"My wrist?" She repeated, and studied her wrist. There were pointed bruises forming on her flesh.

"I didn't stutter, did I? How is it?" He asked again, irate.

"Ohh um sorry sir! Yes, it's alright! You don't have to concern yourself with-!" She began, and tried to move the wrist behind her back, but Levi quickly snatched it.

His grip this time was surprisingly very gentle as he brought her wrist to examine it himself. Upon finding the bruises that he made, he grimaced. "Shit…" She heard him mutter.

"Really sir, it's nothing! I've always been easy to bruise." She said smiling; trying to wash away any guilt he might have felt. "Like a banana, my mother used to say!"

He said nothing; instead he began massaging her wrist, his thumb lazily circling one of the larger bruises. It soothed the damaged flesh and she felt her cheeks grow hot. She would not deny that it felt pleasant, but she found that she was more uncomfortable with this tender kneading. It reminded her too much of the night in his office.

Sensing her discomfort he released her, and crossed his arms over his chest. "We still have a lot to do tomorrow. I expect you in my office at 0700. Don't be late."

"Yes Corporal!" She said, blushing and folded the arm with the wrist he held, behind her back.

Levi brushed past her his face stone, as if nothing had just occurred. She watched him walk off, blinking at the sight of his back to her and then she realized she forgot her manners.

"Um Corporal!" She called out, and he turned his head to give her his attention. "Have a good night sir!" She smiled, and he simply nodded in reply.

Alex did not end meeting him in his office as was planned. Hanji's titans Sonny and Bean were slaughtered or in Hanji's words "murdered". By whom? That was the mystery. There was much commotion, and Alex hurriedly tried to find Eren. If someone had gotten this close without detection, then they could do so again. When she spotted him, the Commander was with him hands on the boy's shoulders.

"Hold on a moment." Levi said when she tried to approach the two.

The Commander did leave Eren's side; the boy appeared confused and troubled. As Erwin came toward both she and Levi, she did not over-see the calculating expression. It was one she knew all too well. The Commander was also deeply troubled by this incident.

"It appears we have a wolf in sheep's clothing." He said, eyes forward as she and Levi walked alongside him.

"So it would appear." Levi concurred.

"You two need to keep a close eye on Eren. And anything else suspicious for that matter."

The Corporal scoffed. "You don't need to tell me that."

"Do you think it's someone within the Regiment?" Alexandra was scanning every single face that walked by them, and around them. Someone was not who they seemed. Realization dawned on her then on the meaning of Erwin's words. "Is it someone like Mr. Jaeger? Someone who can change into a titan?"

"I suspect so." He confirmed, and she turned around to head back to Eren.

"Alex, do not share that information with anyone." Erwin ordered.

A quick nod and she made her way through the crowd of scouts, all the while feeling an immense dread. With this chilling knowledge of another shifter, Eren was going to need to be heavily guarded and watched. She was not sure who the wolf was, but she knew the prey was Eren Jaeger.

* * *

><p>Sorry for the wait. It's a bit longer so I hope it was worth it?<p>

Anywho, before the Female Titan arc, Eren and the Cadets were all being trained for a month.

Know what that means?

FLUFF...then we'll move on to tragedies...fluff first though ;o


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